Bridget Jones is A Man...and I am Her

REMINDER!

2007-02-10T15:55:00.000+08:00

This blog is no longer active. I have moved to:

http://aborrowedlife.wordpress.com

Au revoir, Arivadeci, Goodbye, Paalam...

2006-06-27T16:57:00.000+08:00

Hold your horses! I'm just moving in with my husband in wordpress. That's the closest we could get to living together...for now. Naks! So, you still get the same mindless and mindful, senseless and sensible, not-so-funny and hilarious entries about my adventures and misadventures. I just wanted to be closer to the love of my life. (giggles) So, please update your links:

http://www.aborrowedlife.wordpress.com

I love you all! Thank you blogger.com for being my home for the past two years. (holds back tears) ...it's time to move on... (walks away, fade out to black screen)

Jack in the INBOX

2006-06-25T21:00:00.000+08:00

Hello, my friends! Been a long time. (For the record, I did not die from fart-thrax as how it was played up in the tabloids. I hate being in the limelight. Ugh!) Super busy at work. The heat is on, as they say. Anyway, would you believe that at the last minute, I decided to ditch the idea of serving a smorgasbord of dishes buffet style to all of you even when I was half way through making it (was inspired by the Friday Feasts, etc)? Yes. I'm just gonna serve it some other time. But what I decided to do, is come up with a meme entry to celebrate my return. (trivia: did you know that I only got to know what "meme" meant yesterday through jher? Ugh, i'm so stupid)

WHAT IS THE OLDEST TEXT MESSAGE YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOBILE PHONE INBOX/MESSAGE ARCHIVE?

Gonna give you three, all from my babe of course. :-)

12:19 a.m., May 6, 2005

Nite my love. I want u 2 know dat i fell inlove w u not only becoz i found u very attractive but also becoz u wowed me with ur intelligence. So dont u think less of urself. Ur my idol, dats y i strive 2 b better in wat i do becoz i want u 2 b proud of me, just as i am very proud of u. I love u very much. I already miss u...

11:32 p.m., April 20, 2005

Ako lang weird. U make me normal. :-)

7:24 p.m., March 13, 2005

Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita!

Share yours, my dears! Missed y'all! Mwah!

FX Horror Stories

2006-06-08T10:37:00.000+08:00

I sometimes take the FX/Van/L200 on your way to work. For someone who lives in Laguna and decides to brave the traffic and the long travel, the FX terminal somehow becomes a best friend of sorts—the bullet train of the working class and the redemption of those bound by a fixed early time-in and are late-risers. But there are stories of FX horrors and urban legends lurking out there that are often times true. I’m not talking about things like:

a mugger opening the doors during traffic and snatching cellphones, jewelry, or bags
girls (and guys as well…the cute ones at least) being harassed especially in the dreaded 3-seater middle where 4 people (regardless of size and width) are forced, jammed, and packed like sardines, giving elbow room for deliberate and unintended brushing against boobs, knees, and the like. Though there are urban legends out there about consummated hand jobs while in transit. Ugh. Such talented people.
Or haunted FX ala Stephen King’s “Christine”

No, no, no. This is nothing compared to my experience. (cue haunting, eerie musical score) It’s so horrifying that I cannot even muster the strength to talk about it. The blood, the gore, the smell of………

FART!

Uuuuggghhhh! Eeeeeeeewww! Yesterday, on my way to the office, I boarded a van—the one that has seats facing each other where if you get to sit on the one by the sliding door you feel like you are going backwards? How disorienting…but has its advantages especially if there are cuties with you. It’s like having a front row seat (pun, pun, pun) to PBB teen edition. (giggles) Anyway, I got that seat, driver side at least since I got to avoid the sun. Beside the driver: a very old man and a girl who looks like a student. Finally, we’re on our way. In the middle of our journey comes the smell of fart which I am very sure came from the front seat! The worst smell of fart, dude! Talk about a record-breaker. Dang! Considering I only had oatmeal and coffee that morning, I felt I was gonna puke. Now I know what it feels like to be in the gas chamber (no to capital punishment!). In perfect synchrony, all passengers within reach of the windows opened them. (cars crash behind us because of the deadly farthrax) When the fartometer read zero level of farthrax, windows closed, peace restored. All of a sudden…INCOMIIIING! FIRE IN THE HOLE! Kablaaaam! Another one! And it was even worse than the first one. That must have left a friggin’ mark! Well, same drill.

At the end of our journey, we had a taste of a total of 4 fart bombs. We had no casualties but there were major puking and dizziness.

(cue cheesy musical score, Jerome kneels, looks up to God and angrily screams while shaking clenched fists) whhhyyyyyyyyyyyy God??????? (sobs) whhyyyyyy???

Visit www.skoggle.blogspot.com for more of the pictures... :-)

Bridget Jones - Master of the Universe, Master in Government Management

2006-06-05T17:05:00.000+08:00

This is Bridget Jones, student under Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila's Graduate School of Management via the Master in Government Management (MGM) program. Why government management? Well...

In our unit (Training and Consulting), our experience is more of public health. Me, my technical expertise is on reproductive health or RH (specifically family planning, maternal and child health, STI/HIV-AIDS, adolescent RH) and tuberculosis using DOTS as a strategy, primarily focused on capability building of program implementers and program installation both for the private and the PUBLIC sector. Hence, MGM. But why not masters in public health (MPH)? Well...
In our unit, my immediate superior has an MPH under his belt. My other co-Program Officers have MA's in development communication, development management, research and evaluation. There is NO person specializing in LGU governance. Hence, MGM. So what di ba? Well...
Foreign funded projects will come in this year and next year to deal with policy on reform, strengthening local governance, and strengthening public health management at the local level. Health is under the governance of local government unit brought about by devolution (decentralization). More projects plus a dearth of people with technical expertise on public health AND local governance...equals more opportunity for Bridget Jones! As the projects come in and I get to finish my MGM next year (5 trimesters only!), gonna take my MPH. Talk about cornering the market ei? Bring out the benjies! Cha-ching! Fashizzle, mah nizzle! (chos!)

O, di ba? I am so excited to go back to school! (skips and hops) I need to buy masters students' "must-haves". (giggles in excitement)

Bridget Jones Goes Back to School

2006-06-01T17:25:00.000+08:00

I'm taking the exams at Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila (University of the City of Manila) this Saturday! I'm so excited to go back to school. Wish me luck! Happy weekend everyone!

Hugs and kisses to everyone...

Men are.... (pause) Women are... (another pause)

2006-05-28T19:22:00.000+08:00

First time I watched TROY yesterday and I was glued! (adamantly) No, not because of Brad Pitt's god-like body and ass that's smooth as a baby. I am not like that, you freakos! (pauses as everyone glares at me while crickets chirp) sige na nga...slight lang. Hmph. Anyway, I was so fascinated with the story line. What prevented me from watching it before was I listened to these people saying, "oh god. it was just about a war erupted because of Helen who wasnt even THAT beautiful". But watching it made me slap myself (oooww) for not being able to watch it on the big screen. It was fascinating to watch love, honor, courage unfold and unravel.

Although, what fascinated me more was the thought of...well, in the words of Odysseus, "women have a way complicating things." (maybe that's why I'm now batting for the other team? Hehehe!) I've been thinking about this pattern ever since Eve took that apple and poor Adam getting into trouble. Whoever coined the phrase, "behind every man's success is a woman" should be kicked in the nuts (or if it was a woman who said that, let's kick her in the...uuhh *scratches head*). Well, let's see the following examples, shall we?

Samson's doom was because of Delilah who cut his long, soft, beautiful ...more like tthhhhirty something hair

Ferdinand Marcos' downfall was due to his power hungry, Paris Hilton-esque shopaholic wife...oh I'm sorry, she did it for beauty nga pala daw and she wants all Filipinos to appreciate beauty...sorry po, madam!

Superman gave up his superpowers for his love over the beautiful, then-still-sane Lois Lane (whoa, it rhymed) which put the earth in great peril in the hands of the evil Zarcon and the guy with huge jaws and Liza Minnelli

Spiderman threw his spidey costume in an alley one dark, rainy night just to be with his woman and the world was in chaos in the hands of Dr. Octopus.

NOW, who said women are the weaker sex??? What does this tell us, men? But before we go into that, let's visit what Achilles (whose downfall was caused by him falling in love with the enemy's cousin, Briseis) told Briseis, "You changed me. You brought me peace."

So, depending on your take on all of this, you complete the title...

MEN are....
WOMEN are...

If you can add to the examples, please do.

Welcome Back, Everyone!

2006-05-23T18:04:00.000+08:00

Hehehehe! Is it leik, buhligtahd? Nyahahahahaha! Alright, alright. No, I'm not on drugs and no there was no reported nitrous oxide leak in Laguna. I'm just happy that I am welcoming everyone back into my life. I missed you all! Heniway, here are some newsbits slash random thoughts:

The 600-Million Peso Proposal

Yep. This is the reason for my blog hibernation (ala Over the Hedge? Hihihihi!). Currently working on a huge project amounting to cha-cheeeng! 600-M php! Been working my ass off with our team for this 5-year project. Imagine, for the past week, meetings lasting up to 9 hours and two scheduled on a Saturday and double header meetings! Sigh. Hope we get the project. Fingers crossed!

The Da Vinci Code

Ugh. As you may have read in mah babe's blog, it was not as good as I thought it would be. (sort of reminded me of Schindler's List. Di ba?) The thought of the brouhaha behind it was even more exciting. Coming from someone who has not read the book, it was really below expectations. I'm tempted to make a review about the film but I won't. All I can say is, I was fascinated by the theories presented in the film. Hmm...I just had a great idea for a blog entry! Light bulb moment!

An Affair to Remember

My nth time to watch "An Affair to Remember" and still, I cried like hell! I had a thought last night which I mistakenly ran through Jher: wouldn't it be fascinating to experience to be confused over the one you're with and the one that you love? (Now...imagine Jher's reaction. Hahahahaha!)

Bridget Jones, Outstanding Librarian of the Year

Now, this section is all about books I am currently reading and those that I recently gave as a gift to someone. Let me start with the books that I have just finished and currently reading:

The Goddess Within

And speaking of women, I read all over again this little book called, THE GODDESS WITHIN. It contains lots of quotable quotes from women of all forms and stature. I'm gonna do a separate blog on this. Here's its introduction: "The goddess exists in every woman- she is , always has been, and always will be a vital presence in our world.Her spirit shines through the words and actions of theentire family of womanhood. Captured here in this wonderfully illustrated volume are inspiring thoughts fromtoday's brightest and boldest women. Read their words and let the inspiration flow."

Left Behind

The first book I read where I was literally shocked on the first 15 pages and just made me read through and finish. Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye just made me think, IS THERE REALLY A "SECOND COMING"? The concept of being left behind scared the shit out of me. (oh crap. i cursed)

Books I gave:

Mothers and Sons

I gave my mom this book as a Mother's Day gift...with an inscription of course which made her cry and her friend cry even more because of its sweetness. I actually asked her to write something about her thoughts about our relationship. I told her if she does this, I'm gonna post it on my blog as an entry. Fingers crossed!

The Pilot's Wife

Bought Jher a book for his reading pleasure. Wala na sya mabasa eh. I was intrigued by the book's blurb and the fact that it made it to Oprah's Book Club. It explores the question: "How well do you know your partner?" Very appropriate to us! (laughs) Hope you enjoy the book, babe. Mwah! P.S. And of course, I bought Jher a hard-bound copy of "Bridget Jones's Diary". I lost the copy he lent to me. (buti nga kasi bigay ng ex nya...este, friend nya pala)

Well, that's it for the meantime. Oh, please wait for the next entry of "He Said, He Said". We're currently working on a better, kick-ass entry. We had a hard time deciding on the next entry. The "Lovers in the City of Pines" entry was a tough act to follow eh. Till then!

Acknowledgment: www.amazon.com for the book covers

A Dry-run of Wifely Duties and Living Together

2006-05-08T15:30:00.000+08:00

First time I spent the weekend alone with my babe at his place. My biyenan asked me if I could keep Jher company since she'll be out until the 3rd week of May. So, it was our opportunity to practice playing house. (giggles) So, I just want to share my feelings and experience.

Jerome's Log, Pre-dry run Activities

Prepared DVD's for entertainment
Brought DC comics compilation of "Watchmen" series (to keep husband entertained while I do my take-home work)
Menu for the next three days & three nights

Jerome's Log, Day 1

Woke up with Jher the first person I laid eyes on. (parang Fido Dido ang hair pag bagong gising)
Jher prepared coffee and peanut butter sandwiches while I consumed my first cigarette for the day (with Jher glaring and giving me a homily about the dangers of smoking and benefits of quitting...yada-yada-yada...damn, dry run is NOT looking great)
Jher ironed my denim pants while I prepared to leave for a workshop that I have to facilitate that morning (nakabawi kasi pinag-plantsa ako...hahahaha!)
Before I left, I gave myself a last look on the mirror and Jher gave finishing touches on my crookedly tucked shirt, hanky in my pocket...and of course, a GOODBYE KISS (giggles, loving the dry-run naaaa!)
During the workshop, Babe kept reminding me of things that I need to buy while he cleaned the house and washed the clothes (so wifely!)...and of course, I have the occasional text messages: NAKARATING KA NA BA, BABE? and MUSTA ANG WORKSHOP and MISS YOU ALREADY...(kilig)
After the workshop, on my agenda were to look for a replacement part for the electric fan and go to the market to buy stuff for dinner. Both failed attempts (Jher, 3 points; Jerome, 0 points *pouts*) Pero binili ko sya ng merienda in fairness (Jher, 3 points; Jerome, 1 point)
5:00 p.m., we went to the market and bought ingredients for dinner and some for the next day. I prepared a kick-ass "oh my gulay" menu of chow-chow (Jerome, 10-million pogi points!).
After a sensational dinner, we watched tv until 11:30. And then.....
Cheh! Ang dudumi ng isip. I told him my life story until 2:00 a.m. Did you know that he got to know of the details of my life just last Saturday? Tsktsktsk...

Jerome's Log, Day 2

Woke up with him by my side...(Hmmmm...I could get used to this)
He prepared breakfast while I took out the meat from the freezer to thaw (so wifely...of both of us...na-confuse na aketch. hahahaha!)
Now, I'm the captain coz its more of kitchen activities! Kaya sit down lang ang husband reading the DC comics while I prepared almondigas for lunch. Yum! (Jerome, 15,000 points!)
Watched CSI marathon...then siesta (enjoying it so far...)
Went to market to buy additional ingredients
Prepared Kenny Rogers-inspired dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, mashed potato, and fried chicken...(napa-yosi ang husband sa kabusugan kahit hindi nagyoyosi. hahahahaha!)
Watched HOSTAGE on Star Movies (na-tense kaming dalawa dun ha...)

Jerome's Log, Day 3 (today)

Babe woke me up at 5:30 a.m. (I had an early writeshop in Ortigas)
He prepared French toast and coffee...aaaawwww! Tsalap!
Left for work...armed with a goodbye kiss and a text message received 5-meters from his house saying: THANK YOU FOR SPENDING THE WEEKEND. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW... (susme, kinilig daw talaga ako)

ALL I CAN SAY is: now I know why people get married or decide to live together...hmmmm (thinks about the successful dry-run while drumming fingers)

Launching of "He Said, He Said" - The Most Anticipated Blog of the Year (Charos!)

2006-05-03T17:15:00.000+08:00

We have a new blog, my dearest friends! It is called HE SAID, HE SAID. It is a blog about Jerome and I, Jerome. Yup! We have the same first name, but VEEEEERRRY different views about anything and everything under the sun. We have exciting fights and violent squabbles but you know what the fun part is? How do we arrive at a compromise? That, my friends, is what you're gonna get by visiting our blog. You know?

(clears throat, glides at the back of a Chinese screen on centerstage, appears on the other side in tuxedo, hat, and cane....cue song with dance steps)

You say po-tey-to, I say po-tah-to. You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to. Po-tey-to, po-tah-to, to-mey-to, to-mah-to. Let's call the whole thing off...

Yup, my luvah is the yin to my yang. We're like fire and rain, sugar and spice, Dharma and Greg...but as they say: OPPOSITES ATTRACT. Never argue with physics (winks)

Enjoy the ride and anticipate lots of intellectual tennis and e-violence, and of course...lots of LOVE... :-)

To Julia, Goodbye; To those who kidnapped her...

2006-04-24T12:16:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday morning, I woke up with the news that two men in a tricycle kidnapped my dog, Julia. My heart broke seeing mom cry from losing Julia. This is the second time that she has lost her best friend. Julia is very special since she knows how to react to non-verbal communication. She reacts to a smile, a wrinkled forehead, and funny faces. We actually think she's human. My best memory of her is when she wants to play fetch, she appears in my room with her favorite stuffed bear in her mouth. (oh god, i just cried...)

Anyway, I know she's in doggie heaven. And besides, she left us with her son, Chucky.

To those who kidnapped my dog, I HOPE JULIA KILLS YOU BACK......(and I'm not being funny)

"I have a fear of...." - (A Blog About Phobias)

2006-04-20T13:50:00.000+08:00

There has been a lax use of the term “phobia”. Clinically, a phobia is characterized by an irrational fear of something, associated with shortness of breath, dizziness, palpitation, sweating, and trembling of the muscles. Therefore, when you are just plain afraid of the dark it does not mean you already have a phobia. Okay, I am stalling with the medical mumbo-jumbo. I am going to admit to the entire blog nation that as embarrassing as it may seem due to the fact that I am a grown man, I am terrified of COCKROACHES…(lets out a bloodcurdling scream)

Oh, my loves. Last Holy Thursday, I had a friggin’ panic attack. Details are as follows and are best visualized by imagining me doing a voice-over like how it’s done in old detective movies (while camera slowly zooms in from a bird’s eye view crane shot). DISSOLVE TO:

I was comfortably plopped on my favorite couch watching SA NGALAN NG ANAK on channel 7, Oishi Wasabi Flavor and Coke conveniently within my reach. I was in the middle of sobbing my guts out from the post-suicide sequence of Connie Reyes’ character when suddenly a familiar voice boomed from the deep recesses of our house. Distracted, I looked up and exclaimed, “God, is that you?” (its holy week, its possible.). “Anong God, God??? Magsaing ka na!”, Mother shouted. Disappointed, I unwillingly stomped like a 5-year old on my way to the kitchen. Mumbling while giving the rice a wash, when from my peripheral vision, I saw something moving. I looked down and I saw a swarm…yes, SWARM of cockroaches came out of the drainage and crawled on my left foot. I ran out of the kitchen as fast as I could. I found myself gasping for air, my heart was racing, my hands and knees were trembling, and I was profusely building a sweat. I picked up the phone and called Jher. It was a scene straight out of “An Eye for An Eye”, I wasn’t able to talk, I was just breathing. Jher on the other hand kept on asking what happened. I finally exclaimed…”I got attacked by (empathic pause) COCKROACHES!” (cue eerie musical score)

Uuuh! (shudders) Reminiscing that awful, icky moment just made me nauseous (picking the right cockroach pic for this entry was a dreadful experience). Other cockroach events are as follows:

Cockroach Experience 1
I woke up one night, parched. So I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Half-awake and half-through drinking water when from out of nowhere, this cockroach fluttered towards me. As a reflex action, I threw the glass. The cockroach lived…the glass died, I mean, shattered into pieces.

Cockroach Experience 2

It was one of those dream-filled sleeps. In my dream, a hand was caressing my cheek. Then, it felt like it was pinching me. It got more and more painful. So I woke up. There was a cockroach on my f*%#&@ cheek! After flicking it off my cheek, I spent 3 hours hunting for the damn critter until I finally annihilated it beyond recognition which made me say: “IT’S DEAD. I CAN NOW GO BACK TO SLEEP.”

Feel free to share your cockroach horror stories or irrational fears that you have. Yuck.

The Great Reveal (Results of the Perception Exercise)

2006-04-12T14:56:00.000+08:00

Hello, my loves! A galactic explosion of gratitude to everyone who took time to participate in this perception exercise. (kneels on one knee and bows head) …I shall forever be grateful, kind Sires and Mesdames.

Okay, now that the drama is over, here’s the much-awaited reveal (cue horn section of the twenty-piece orchestra):

This picture was taken while unwinding in Seattle’s Best (pronounced as Shatels Bes, mind you) after he and his team participated in a wedding exhibit chorva in Megatrade Hall in SM Megamall. Most of your comments were hotels, so it kinda had an effect on your perception of his job.

This is my very dear friend, DYLAN (visit his blog). He is only 30 years old and works as an English Editor in a multinational company involved in the BPO industry. He is single (special mention to Quotidian who even said that his cue is “no ring”) and has no children yet. What he has is a partner. Yup. 5 out of 9 comments actually said that he’s gay or bisexual and a couple of “either way’s” and ajay even said that she can just “smell” it. What is it that gives it away? I would love to hear your feedbacks on this. Most of you and the people who have seen this picture also said that he is either not happy, frustrated, or disappointed. Why? I’ve mentioned this to Dylan. My dearest Donnie, maybe you would want to join in after they commented?

FYI, he loves watching movies and writing. He has 1,000+ titles in his dvd collection and he generously lent me 22! Walang sinabi ang Video City, mga ineng. Grabe! He also loves to cook and he has a newly-adopted cute Pomeranian puppy named Turnip!

This picture was taken at the Hongkong wharf after a day’s shopping…or more appropriately, buying.

This is my very dear and loving sister, GILDA. Yup she’s my sister so to all those who perceived her in a negative way I’m gonna hunt you down and beat the crap out of you. Joke lang. Hehehe! Okay, she’s only 25 years old but to tell you the truth, people who see this picture thought she was older. She’s the Group Merchandising Head for one of the more popular department stores in the country. She frequents China so drops by at Hongkong on her flight back to Manila (that’s why she’s there). Anyway, OFW and software/IT chuva are the most common reactions to this picture. She’s single, has no children, and just broke up with her boyfriend of 10 years. Maybe that’s why most people also think that she’s sad? I also tell her that her eyes somehow tell it all. Although, now she exhibits a more vibrant aura since she already met her “replacement” when she played ninang to her ex-boyfriend’s sister’s first baby’s christening. And we had a ball talking about The Encounter! Oh, I just love her.

This picture was taken outside the conference venue in Thailand. Taking a breather. And to my float and quotidian, nobody took his lunch…it was just plain hot and sunny. He didn’t have any feelings whatsoever here. But 100% of the people who have seen and commented on this as part of the exercise say the same thing…that he’s often in a crappy mood, snobbish, and unpleasant. Well…

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the love of my life, JEROME! (applause) Babe, results so far as far as people’s perception about your orientation? 80% say that you are straight and married! Shet, may madedenggoy ka pa! Hahahaha! Anyway, he is 32, single but definitely attached to the most beautiful person in the world…both inside and out. He has no children (unless for some miracle he has grown a uterus and gave birth or something). He works as a Program Officer/IEC and Advocacy Specialist with a non-government organization based in Makati who’s mandate is health. (Ain’t that grand? Both of us are Jeromes who work in social development. Freaky.) Anyway, people always say that he is unpleasant, always in a crappy mood, and irritated. Well, it is true, my friends. But that’s first impression, if I haven’t given him a second look, I will not be this happy (cue audience: Aaaaaaaw!). He actually loves “manly” things more than I do. He’s into cars, technology, gadgets, and he is a very good electrician and carpenter. (Mmm-mmm-mmm. You wouldn’t believe how I enjoy watching him install a light fixture or the lock on my bedroom door. Hahahahaha!)

This is a picture lifted from Oprah.com (thank you to http://www.oprah.com/). So, to all of you who said that she’s in a TV show and being interviewed, you are right. Maybe because of the background and her eye line?

Anyway, this is Christine. She is 50 years old and she has a daughter named Noelle. She is formerly a man named, Dick, and finally decided after years of misery to undergo gender re-assignment surgery. Now Christine, she was interviewed in Oprah for an episode entitled “Husbands Who Became Women”. (Click http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200305/tows_past_20030507.jhtml) . Librarian, Teacher/Professor, and Principal are the most common descriptions to this picture. Why? And to quotidian, why CEO?

MESSAGE

Hey friends, did you know that this exercise is more about YOU than how you describe the pictures? Yup! It is a version of the projective technique called, the Thematic Apperception Test". If you go back to your comments, you will see that at some subconscious level, you have just described your past and present experiences or your current feelings. You have just given yourself a third-person perspective of a part of you.

I had fun, my loves! Thank you for your participation. Remember, “All it takes is a second look for us to see the real beauty of things.” – Jerome C. Daclison

Perception Exercise

2006-03-30T15:11:00.000+08:00

Hi, guys! Thanks for your comments in my previous entry. I have received lots of slaps from Jher for announcing his singing prowess in the whole of blog nation! Break na kami. Joke! Sige, let's try something. This is a perception exercise which I use in my trainings on gender awareness, family planning, reproductive health, and HIV-AIDS. This entry was also made possible by Toni (Wifely Steps) who is a keen observer of life (thanks, toni! mwah!)

Instructions: Just describe the person on the picture in terms of: AGE, OCCUPATION, CIVIL STATUS, HOW MANY CHILDREN THEY HAVE, PERSONALITY (WHAT THEY ARE LIKE), SEXUAL ORIENTATION, and take it as far as WHAT STATE ARE THEY IN (ARE THEY SAD, HAPPY, ETC.) and WHY (story na ito). I'm gonna run this entry for 5 days, I'm gonna get back and process all your comments. You can be serious or as outrageous as you can be. Number your comments by number according to how the pictures are arranged, okay? Enjoy the experiment and have fun!

How Do You Keep the Music Playing?

2006-03-22T13:07:00.000+08:00

Important question to all my “involved and attached” blog friends out there: have you ever felt like your relationship with your husband/wife/lover/BF/GF has reached its saturation point? That it has gone from “wow” to “ho-hum”? If so, what keeps you together?

Well, Jher and I have tackled this question a number of times, openly discussing about our relationship “plateau-ing”. We’ve been together for 16 months now and I guess we’ve managed to get through this period of stagnation. (interstellar pause and naughtily stares at everyone)

So, the 64-million dollar question is: HOW we’ve done it? Well, spicing things up takes a lot of creativity and I will leave it to your imagination to simmer, brew, and cook something up. (giggles)

But do you know what’s the most interesting thing that keeps the proverbial flame burning that does not require leather straps, whips, edible underwear, and/or costumes for role-playing like construction worker, cop, or French maid? (oh, BTDT…been there, done that. Charoz! LOL!) Seriously, it’s discovering something new about your partner no matter how long you have been together. It’s that moment where you would say in amazement, “I didn’t know that!” that makes things a lot fluffier and rosier in your relationship…”The Moment”. For my babe, I thought I knew him well. However, he gave me The Moment when I discovered that he can DRAW! Samples are embedded in this entry. I was really surprised that I missed this very basic detail of him. I know he’s artistic (which is an understatement given the fact that he’s gay. LOL) but I did not know he could do sketches. Very Regine Velasquez my pangga!

Okay. Let me give you The Moment, as well. Did you know that my babe, Jher, is one hell of a SINGER? He can belt out “Half-Crazy” and James Ingram songs without effort and can do one hell of a rendition of “Bukas na Lang Kita Mamahalin” ala Lani Misalucha (of which he’s very famous for)! Moreover, if you could only hear him sing Patti Austin’s part in “How Do You Keep the Music Playing”, it will freak you out how uncanny the similarity of his voice to Patti Austin.

I guess mention of the song “How Do You Keep the Music Playing” segues to a synthesis of this entry. But more importantly, it is consistently discovering a new facet of each other that makes us anticipate each day for us to experience The Moment…which consequently keeps the music playing. (kilig)

Feel free to share your experiencing The Moment ha? Can’t wait…

The Dessert Factory and Larsian Nights - Two of My Best Memories of Cebu

2006-03-17T22:27:00.000+08:00

Conference over, my documentation team kicked ass, me commended as session moderator...all's well that ends well! And my reward for the anxiety attacks and migraine events brought about by incompetent people and other behind-the-scenes harassment? A night of gluttony and pigging out at Larsian and The Dessert Factory.

Larsian - BBQ Haven

After a long search for and aborted purchase of shoes for Jher at Metro Gaisano in Ayala Mall, Nilda, Chellow, and I treated ourselves to grilled meat at Larsian. Imagine this: perfectly marinated wedges of pork and chicken legs grilled to perfection sealing its natural juices in...then put this mouth-watering thought side by side with a location...Imagine eating this sumptuous dinner--20 meters from the emergency room of a hospital, cars and jeepneys passing you by where you will actually ask, "which will kill me first: cholesterol from grilled pork or carbon monoxide from cars?"

I may sound aristocratic but let me assure you that the bliss you will encounter with that first bite of chicken or pork BBQ after anticipatingly waiting for your order to be served, is going to be forever etched in your mind...(pauses, mouth waters at the thought of yummy BBQ)

The Dessert Factory

I died and have gone to dessert heaven!!! After a hearty (euphemism for "construction worker appetite") meal at Larsian, we went back to Ayala and had dessert at THE DESSERT FACTORY. Our order:

Chellow's Order, CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM CAKE.
Nilda's Order: Pistachio Ice Cream Cake
My Order: Peanut Butter and Banana Ice Cream Cake...(no words to describe this, you just have to try it)

My trip to THE DESSERT FACTORY actually reminded me of CALEA's, famous cafe and pastry shop in Bacolod (yuuuummm!)

With moments like these...I thank God for giving me the opportunity to travel. Be back tomorrow, guys. Haylabyu!

Today's Highs and Lows

2006-03-15T22:33:00.000+08:00

Ever watched "The Story of Us" starring Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer directed by Rob Reiner? Anyway, there's this day-ender-slash-ritual that their characters undergo to review the day and they call it "highs and lows". I thought of doing it.

HIGHS

I thought I've seen it all! Yes, I thought I have met all kinds of participants. I was wrong. I was session moderator for one of the parallel sessions in the PHE conference and I was very glad that we were on time. I was processing the results of the workshop, preparing to synthesis when this participant (middle-aged woman) raised her hand and said, "You are a very good and very dynamic facilitator...(pauses)...but WE REALLY HAVE TO GO. The bus is waiting for us." (mentally committing murder in the first degree) Syempre poise pa rin and said, "Okay, let's wrap this up by doing a rapid prioritization!" Natapos bigla, but I still got the required outputs.

Why is it my high? I just love how life surprises me by kicking me in the shin.

LOWS

It's our 16th month together...and I'm not with my babe. (sniff) I love you! Let's go out on a date when I get back ha? Mishu mishu! Mwahmwah!

LOVE Y'ALL! Mwah!

Off to Waterfront in Cebu...

2006-03-13T16:41:00.000+08:00

Haay...flysung na naman ako to Cebu. It's the 2nd National Conference on Population, Health, and Environment (PHE) with the theme, Creating the Future. See you on Saturday, guys! Mwah!

If you want information about the conference, please visit http://www.pheconference.com.

:-)

Better Late Than Never - A Proposal to End this Squabble Over "What's Best for the Philippines"

2006-03-12T19:10:00.000+08:00

I just read the open letter of my dear blog friend in his blogspot, "Out of My Mind" (click on my links). In fairness, he is now famous and a lot of people have admired and lambasted his now [in]famous entry. I salute you, my friend, for speaking up. I also salute those people who have spoken up to express whatever they feel about the Philippines. But I guess, the real question is: HAVE WE REALLY DONE ANYTHING TO MAKE THE PHILIPPINES BETTER AND GREAT AGAIN, ASIDE FROM EXERCISING OUR FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION AND ASSEMBLY? I guess that's where the real problem lies. All talk and no action. Blahblahblah. That's what's tiring. I want RESULTS, you sons of Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey in "Beaches"!!!

I am not a fan of current events eversince...much so nowadays. I don't even watch or read the news (I actually go for the Entertainment and Lifestyle Sections and segments). Its depressing and it derails me from my focus, which is do what I have to do to fill in the gap of implementation in programs and services that the government should have been providing in the first place, via my work. But then, I felt it got out of hand, when I heard from Jher that PGMA declared 1017. I was so nervous that day I wasnt able to eat and thoughts of tanks and machine guns polluted my highly creative imagination. I almost puked from anxiety. When I got home, I got to watch lots of "intelligent" people dissecting the constitutionality of the declaration, business people expressing confidence and disgust about how the situation was handled, leftists shouting "foul", senators and former political figures shouting "is this what we want??? another dictator???" , then the next day, there was an influx of articles and entries from the very powerful blogging nation. Then, Jher told me about the open letter in "Out of My Mind". Then...i sat down...processed everything...and came to a conclusion...

WE HAVE LOTS OF INTELLIGENT AND SMART PEOPLE IN THE PHILIPPINES! SO MANY PEOPLE WHO CAN OFFER SOMETHING TO MAKE LIFE IN THE PHILIPPINES BETTER. Hurrah! However, all I can say is...PUNYETA! SAYANG!

Even before this highly celebrated coup attempt, I always had the fantasy of PGMA making a surprise visit in the House and Senate and just saying, "you have a problem with me? let's get it over with, and then let's discuss how we can make the Philippines great again." Just like how Kevin Kline's characted did in the movie, DAVE. I always believe that anything is possible. So, taking off from my inference that there are lots of smart and intelligent Filipinos out there who have brilliant ideas to "save" the Philippines, I have come up with a proposal...

THE PROPOSAL

Here's what I propose to do. Why not have a 5-day workshop with representatives from all these smart and intelligent people with brilliant ideas. Someone just needs to harness these talents and brilliant ideas to make it matter. (Daldal nang daldal kasi, wala namang pinatutunguhan, mga leche talaga.) Who's this powerful person who can put these minds together? Well, I would love to volunteer (ALONG WITH 9 other brave souls with the talent and skill of objective facilitation). It's what I do, after all. I would love to get my hands on these smart and intelligent people with brilliant ideas and just...FACILITATE. I envision it to be attended by party representatives from the senate and the house (opposition and administration), the executive dept. (sana umupo si PGMA, it would be my dream to facilitate with her in the audience), leftists, representatives from the poor, from the farmers, students, medical field, business sector...MULTI-SECTORAL and MULTI-STAKEHOLDER in approach. Let's just finally discuss the issues face-to-face, and come up with A WORKABLE AND REALISTIC PLAN OF ACTION. Middle ground for everyone. Hmm...i like this idea. I hope it could happen.

THE CHALLENGE: Take this proposal seriously. Name the time and place. Enough of the provocation of thoughts by creating noise. IT IS NOW TIME FOR US TO GRAB OUR BALLS AND FOR SOME SERIOUS ACTION AND RESULTS. If we keep on just engaging on a barrage of shouts and cries, we'll just end up with no results, no progress, with a nasty sore throat and a very serious ear problem.

Continuation of..."Away from Jerome...and Flirting..."

2006-03-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

Hi, blogfriends! I'm baaaaaccckkk...in the office. Yes, straight from Cagayan de Oro, I went back to the office, to prepare for my departure for Cebu on Tuesday (yes, ah-gain...) Sus ginoo talaga! Para akong si Curacha, ang babaeng walang pahinga...

Anyway, I just wanted to continue why my previous blog elicits an illicit tone. It was meant to be that way, kasi I WAS FLIRTING on the net...pero with Jher pa rin (bakit may "pa rin", I sounded disappointed. hahahahaha!). Kidding aside, I was flirting with him on the webcam. Making faces, kissing the webcam, licking it, showing my penis (gasps)...of course not. (in a British accent) I am so appalled and flabbergasted that you'd thought of me as someone who would expose my privates. Horrible. Hahahaha! Anyway, I loved flirting with him over the webcam...made me thought of naughty things that would be realized this weekend (hopefully).

Have a weekend everyone! Mmmmmwaaah!

P.S.

Jher, I saw the blog about the university jokes. Taga-lasalle ako ha. (long pause with eyes glaring) But since the jokes are obviously about lasalle taft, its okay coz I'm from lasalle-dasmarinas. (rolls in laughter)

Away from Jerome...and Flirting...

2006-03-07T14:33:00.000+08:00

O, mga nanlilimahid at punong-puno ng libag na pag-iisip! Bago gawan ng chismis, heto muna....

I'm in Cagayan de Oro as of this writing (2:40 p.m.). Pit stop for our journey towards Malaybalay City in Vukidnon ("V" talaga...). Anyway, I'm here at an internet shop in the Robinson-Limketkai chuvanes center with my work friend, Reno. We're waiting for our ride so we decided to surf.

While Reno chatted on mIRC (tama ba?), I decided to use the webcam on my yahoo messenger (ID: jcd2010). Would you believe its my first time to use a web cam? I was so amazed, I kept on looking at myself then back at the webcam just like those people in the mall passing by a video cam shop tapos nakahook ang video cam sa isang tv...pag nakita, kunyari hindi lilingon...uuuuy! Hahahahaha! Meron, babalik pa talaga. Haaay. I just love technology. Teka, tumawag na ang sundo namin. Bye! Enjoy! See you in 3 days.

Mwah!

The Jetsetter Named Jerome Daclison

2006-03-05T20:21:00.000+08:00

I am back! and I am sick! Pero I just needed to blog because I missed you all. Jher's by my side, taking care of me (actually, he's blogging din, making sure I won't collapse or whatever). Thanks for all of your messages. I truly love you all. I always look forward to the warmth and sincerity of your messages and your entries most of all. Okay, to answer Melai's question, eto na ang translation of my being a "superhero":

I work with a corporate-led NGO called the Phil. Business for Social Progress (PBSP) with offices in Intramuros, Cebu, Samar, Laoag, Leyte, and Davao. You can visit our website if you want: www.pbsp.org.ph. I am a Program Officer/Training Specialist under the Training and Consulting unit of PBSP. We handle different locally and internationally funded projects, two of which are USAID's Phil. Tuberculosis in the Private Sector (PhilTIPS) and Private Sector Mobilization for Family Planning (PRISM-FP). All the training components of all projects, I'm the guy...the gay guy. Hahahaha. Yes, my loves. All about workplace program installation on family planning, tuberculosis, reproductive health, hiv-aids, I am the guy. Kaya masyadong hectic. Would you believe, I wasnt able to even lay my eyes on the so-called "Fontana Water Park"? I stayed there for 4 days and my route was villa to training vene back to villa. THen I got sick on day 2 of our training. Had the fever but still, I got to take the lead in administering the case exercises and facilitate and run two major sessions. Yeah, kicked ass. Now, my body's kicking my ass. Anyway, nationwide because a lot of workplaces nationwide want to go on-board these projects. What we do is two levels of technical assistance: capability building and consultancy--all about program management, policy formulation, strategic plannning, training on the technology of participation (formerly TOT), and other TA needs.

This is my life..so far. I'm having a blast. I just hope I could slow down a little bit just to enjoy the scenery that the places I visit can offer.

Ayan, I am slowly becoming three-dimensional to all of you. I'm glad. :-)

p.s.

i'll be leaving for Bukidnon on Tuesday....hmph. sexual deprivation na naman leche....charoooooozzz!

Off to Fontana...

2006-02-28T16:36:00.000+08:00

My lovely blog friends, I'm off to Clark. I just wish I could surf the net there. So much work ahead of me. Sana makapag-swimming man lang ako. (sniff) For babe: I'm gonna miss you again, my love. Mwah!

Lost in Translation - (...and Other Memories of Cebu)

2006-02-26T18:44:00.000+08:00

I am baaaaaccckk! Yey! I was so busy in Cebu that I was not able to surf the internet. Yes. That's how toxic my work is...as a superhero, of course. Anyhoooo, I'm satisfied with what I accomplished there. It was my second time to visit Cebu (first time was 2004) and a lot has changed since my last trip. Still lost in translation (where I had a very bad experience during my first visit, that's another blog) but I enjoyed a lot of firsts and "nths" and new memories during my 5-day stay. Let me share them with you:

(1) First time in Danao City and I love it. I stayed at El Salvador Resort. Very beautiful. I got the room facing the pool and the garden. Loved it! Kaya lang na-mumu ako nung first night (nginiig) I also had an awful nightmare where I was chopped into pieces by a serial killer. (I could taste and smell my blood. *shudders*)

(2) Had a nice session with my all-female training participants. Learned a lot of Cebuano terms. I can understand and speak the dialect! (a minute portion of it anyway)

(3) Danao had only one small mall--a "mall-ette"

(4) Had the best banana split at the resort restaurant.

(5) Japanese general manager and staff of Cebu Mitsumi thought I was Kiko Pangilinan. (blushes)

(6) First time to eat at AA's in Cebu City! Grabe, walang diet-diet talaga ito.

(7) The beauty of laundry services. Eric surprised me that I will join the project briefing session, I didn't have any costume left so I got to avail of hotel laundry services for the first time. Cool! I felt like Michael Douglas in "Wall Street" all powerful and snotty.

(8) Mom's text: I JUST WATCHED BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. IYAK AKO NANG IYAK, SOBRANG GANDA. I THOUGHT OF YOU. WATCH IT WITH JEROME. Cry naman ako at may gay appreciation session na ang mudra.

(9) And of course...a last call from Jher...every night.

I LOVE YOU, BLOG FRIENDS! (butterfly kisses to all) Hey, read my entry on infidelity ha?

That Thing Called...INFIDELITY

2006-02-26T18:35:00.000+08:00

I remembered one of my entries here which discussed our capacity to love vis-à-vis our capacity to hate. It was a truly fascinating journey for me to be in a situation where I got to realize that I can hate as much as I can love someone. It is what Neale Donald Walsh said in his book, “Conversations with God”: Everything is just one thing, expressed in different levels. Therefore joy and sorrow are just one feeling expressed in different levels. Just like love and hate being only one emotion, the two occupying both ends of a spectrum. But there is one thing that I would like to explore right now: being unfaithful. What started this introspection despite the fact that I am currently checked in the Love Shack? (hmmm…maybe things aren’t that good in my relationship after all hence this blog...)

At the risk of sounding like Norman Bates in “Psycho”, Mother and I just ended the day by watching a pretty disturbing movie called, A PERFECT MURDER (starring Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Viggo Mortinsen) which tells the story of Emily Taylor who has an affair with an artist, David Shaw. The hot affair was kept a secret until her powerful husband, Stephen Taylor, goes to David initially to discuss about buying the latter’s paintings, later letting the cat out of the bag and saying that he knows about the affair…and about David Shaw’s shady past of conning women to wipe out their savings. The story is then weaved with deceit, manipulation, self-preservation, more lies, and climactically ends with...well, a perfect murder. All stemming from one act of infidelity. This made me think…

Just like love and hate, can someone have the capacity to care for someone as much as hurt them? Can we betray someone as much as love them? If so, is this why some people forgive their partners who betrayed their trust? How far would you go if you find out that your partner cheated on you? Conversely, would you cheat on your partner? What if your partner gave you the "it-was-just-sex-it-didn't-mean-anything" defense? Would this be more "acceptable"?

Feel free to share stories and your views…personal or heard of.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! (yes, I was being sarcastic.)

Now I know why Superman and Spiderman [temporarily] gave up their powers....

2006-02-18T19:15:00.000+08:00

I have a secret to tell everyone...I AM A SUPERHERO...

Yes, dear blog friends. My job description is: SAVE THE WORLD. I am a mild-mannered Program Officer in dark-rimmed glasses ala Clark Kent (although more fashionable and fabulous) with a corporate-led non-government organization, who helps people help themselves...one social development project at a time. The feeling of seeing people say "you have helped us in more than one way" is priceless. My superpowers include capacity-building and technical assistance to companies and communities. My friends (who know of my superhero identity) always express their envy with the nature of my job and the travels attached to it. (cue change in musical score from grand to melancholic) ...what they do not know is that my heart is filled with loneliness...(cue tight shot of me, single tear falls down from left eye)...

I'm flying to Cebu tomorrow to assist Cebu Mitsumi Inc. in training their in-plant reproductive health educators. Why am I sad despite the thought of being in one of the most beautiful Philippine cities and kick-ass accommodation package? Being there means not being with Jher (Floor director cues audience: "aaaaaawww"). I guess when you are used to spending a lot of time with someone, you also get used to the warm thought of physical presence. Usually, we spend the weekends together at home and ride the bus to office together on Mondays. But today, we had to cut the weekend short. So, I had to maximize today by doing things together: went to the market, prepared lunch (a mean, spicy "Binagoongang Baboy"), and ate lunch. AFter lunch, we snuggled and cuddled and drifted to our afternoon siesta. Then we prepared French toast and coffee for snacks. While he prepared to leave, I got to thinking...now I know why Superman went into the Cryptonite chamber and why Spiderman left his outfit in the alley one rainy night: it is about being trapped...a feeling that we do not have a choice despite the fact that we ALWAYS have a choice--it's just that we do not want to make it. For us superheroes, it is about the greater good versus another day with my loved ones. Well, as Spiderman's grandmother said, "with great power comes great responsibilities."

As I watched Jher's bus pull away, him waving from the bus's window and me waving back, I again remembered a line from the movie, "Someone Like You", there's something very sad about watching someone leaving you. You watch him walk away...the distance between your bodies becomes bigger and bigger until there’s nothing left…but empty space. Then Spiderman's grandmother's words came back to me, "with great power comes great responsibilities."

I guess it is time to tell Jerome about my secret superhero identity...

Turning 15 on the 16th - A Screenplay

2006-02-15T15:11:00.000+08:00

BLACK SCREEN

FADE IN SUPERS

“HOW JEROME AND JEROME MET”

INT. TEKNOZONE INTERNET SHOP.DAY

ME browsing in Friendster in search of a date to end quest for the “real” thing. Was about to give up when…clicks on FURION’s profile and pic.

Hmmm…this one looks well traveled. What is that? A temple in Thailand? Wow. Been to places. He’s kinda cute pero mukhang nakasimangot. Mainitin ang ulo nito. Pero sige, let’s try sending message. (TYPES) Subject Line: Patience is not my virtue.... Message (this is the original friendster message I sent):

> Struck by your profile. You seem to be very
> intelligent, smart, sarcastic, witty, and funny.
You
> got me at "patience is not my virtue." Hahaha!
> Forgive me for the Jerry Maguire plagerism. Ey.
> If you're interested, drop me a line:
> 09182923072. If you want to know how my quirky
> mind works, visit my blogspot:
>
www.aborrowedlife.blogspot.com
>
> I encourage you not to let go of a once-in-a-
> lifetime opportunity to be part of my version
> of "The Amazing Race"....(well, that's riddled with
> ambiguity and undertones so go and treat yourself
> to the subjectivity of that line. Hahahaha!)
>
> Hope to hear from you soon.
>
>
> Jerome
>
> P.S.
>
> Says in your profile you're a Project Officer. NGO
> work? I'm a Program Manager. If you're with an
> NGO, then I shall lift my glass and give a toast to
> serendipity.

Okay. Sent. Let’s see if he…(stops and looks at pop-up message: FURION has sent you a message) Wow. That was fast. (opens message *this is his original reply*)

Subject Line: Patience is not my virtue...nor is it mine

You're wrong, I'm not intelligent, smart and
witty. But yes I am sarcastic and sometimes funny.
It took me ages to complete that profile of mine
and reading your blog just blew me away. Mukhang
matatahimik ako sayo.

But anyway, thanks for your interest. Yes I work
for an NGO as a lowly project officer. kidding.

ME (V.O.)

Hmmm…smart...

And yes, patience is not my virtue. So if you try
to be all smart alecky and witty and madaldal to
me I will just walk away. LOL

ME (V.O.)

(giggles)…and witty!

So are you up to it? 09178137723 is my contact
number.

ME (V.O.)

Oh...my...God!!! He gave his number. *kilig*

I'd prefer that you text or call me
first. Makes me feel special in a autistic kind
of way. Hahahah

Hey, we have the same first name btw.

Ciao!

Jher

ME (V.O.)

And his name is also Jerome! Now I have to call this guy. (dials number)

JEROME (on the other line)

Hello?

(V.O.)

Uy, nice voice! (speaks) Hello, Jerome? This is Jerome.

JEROME

Wow! Ang bilis naman. Nasa office ka ba?

Nope. Internet shop. Working away from the office.

JEROME

Malingering?

(laughs and tucks imaginary hair behind ear)

Di masyado…(laughs again)

JEROME

Tawa ka nang tawa dyan.

Of course! It’s because I’m a happy person.

JEROME

So, you wanna meet up?

Sure.

JEROME

Tuesday? (that was November 12, 2004)

I love Tuesdays. (laughs again) Starbucks in Intramuros?

JEROME

That’s fine. I’ll see you then.

Okay. (smiles in kilig) Bye!

JEROME

Bye. (click)

(incessantly smiling after ending call)

CUT TO: PRESENT DAY

Ah, yes. He got me at “hello”—in query form. Since then we are already on our 15^th month and it has been one hell and heaven of a ride. But everyday is just worth it. I love loving him. I love the thought that we can argue and debate on things (and hope that it won’t escalate into a fight). I love the fact that he never steps back on our game of intellectual tennis, standing his ground and matches up with me 100%. Some couples may find this difficult to manage but for me, it’s why we work. I love the fact that we are opposites (on my part, “surprised” would be more appropriate since he turns out to be the spitting image of the exact opposite of my ideal partner). He is a left-brainer and I am more of the right hemisphere. He’s a planner and I am the spontaneous one (oh dear. This blog won’t be able to accommodate the interesting times we have argued about the benefits of planning and the romantic nature of spontaneity. I remember the classic “ferry incident”. (cue video of ME and JEROME taking a stroll by the seawall)

(jumps and claps in glee at the sight of the Manila Bay public ferry)

Oh my God, babe! Let’s take the ferry…

ME/JEROME (blurts out in unison)

…it’s gonna be romantic/…it’s expensive

CUE TIGHT SHOT OF ME and JEROME looking at each other…waiting for a detailed discussion about practicality versus romance to ensue.

Yup. That’s how we are—the north and south pole. But I guess in diversity lies beauty. It’s a simple equation of “one plus one” of which the result is two different people trying to be one as a couple. (nice line, gives myself pat on the back) Sigh. I love how he keeps me up on my toes making every single day a new challenge; a new quest; a new adventure.

I guess for someone like me who is just starting to build a relationship (for the Nth time), it is really about the “real deal” more than the proverbial “right one”. It is about the real situations, the real fights, the real kiss-and-make-ups that makes it right for both of you…if not perfect. Whether it would entail sacrifices, big or small ones, it would still be perfect in our own standards. As long as the undying love is there and that he continues to be my true north and the yin to my yang, it will transcend flaws and shortcomings making perfection a journey and not a destination.

More years, babe! Mmmmmwaaaah!

P.S.

This entry is an offshoot of a two-day debacle over our difference of opinion about Valentine’s Day. I said V-Day is a celebration of love. He said it is a machinery created by capitalist-minded entrepreneurs, commercializing it to put pressure on people (“dictate” as he put it) to make their loved ones feel “more special” in turn churning the money machine, giving them profits. (Final note on this issue not subject to retort: Uuuugh…)

Let Me Take You Back to My High School Yester-years

2006-02-14T19:09:00.000+08:00

I am excited that I’m doing this entry! I have lots of great high school memories and I am just going to choose my most favorite ones. As a backgrounder, I went to a public school in Carmona, Cavite, the Carmona National High School. What’s interesting here was, I came from a private Catholic school, stopped for a year due to financial constraints (actually, dahil lang sa kaartehan dahil gusto ko private pa rin at sa bias against public schools). Anyway, let the trip down memory lane begin!

First day in school…my first year in high school. Flag ceremony, I wore a clean polo shirt, with sando, khaki pants, white socks, black shoes. I looked around, everyone was staring at me. 90% were wearing white T-shirts, khaki pants, and slippers. (shocked to death akez!). CUT TO: RECESS. I was seated in front 5th seat (letter D kasi ako). Took out my lunch box with peanut butter sandwich and thermos with Milo. As I was about to devour my baon, I stopped, everyone was staring at me…creepy.

I ran for student council position from 1st to 4th year, I never won. To this day, I wonder why.

To compensate for my lack of political career, I involved myself in the school paper which has a bi-annual circulation. I remember being the youngest Associate Editor in the history of “The Limelight”. I also remember that all of my articles were threatened to be censored because of its controversial or alleged offensive content. Here are some of those controversial articles:

Beware of the “F” Syndrome – talked about this speech phenomena where the “P” is being pronounced as “F”. Daming teacher nag-react, pinatawag ako ng principal

To Jump or Not to Jump: Fraternity as Brotherhood? – It was the height of frat wars between Tau Gamma Phi and AKRho and I went on a mission to explore the true nature of fraternities by interviewing the Cavite Chapter Masters of said fraternities. It was a ballsy, kick-ass article. Pinatawag ako ng principal…at na-elevate sa district office!

Exploring “Paligawang Matanda” – My high school tropa went to this dead waterfall called “Paligawang Matanda” after CAT one Sunday noon. It was written travelogue style and all students went ga-ga over the place. It somewhat started an urban legend that really made everyone curious and the school found complaints coming in from parents because their children went to the same place. Pinatawag ulit ako ng principal…shet.

“Where is Councilor Toot-toot’s Right Hand?” – It was the last quarter of 1990. We watched a cortege of dumptrucks traverse the national highway (leaving an unbearable stench that one can possibly stomach) on their way to the sanitary landfill which the townsfolk of Carmona protested against…but was approved…by no less than Councilor Toot-toot who, six months ago, exclaimed in a booming voice during the public hearing, KAPAG NA-APRUBAHAN ANG SANITARY LANDFILL SA CARMONA, IPAPUPUTOL KO ANG KANANG KAMAY KO!!! So, since I was Editor-in-chief then, all of us agreed to take the same photo which appeared in the previous issue where he is waving his right hand emphasizing his promise…now it was splashed with a banner headline, “Where is Councilor Toot-toot’s Right Hand?” Pinatawag ako ng principal before na-release ang papel. Syempre pinaglaban “freedom of expression” and “campus journalism act” chuva. Go. Print. After nag-circulate, the next day, principal ulit ako…pinasundo ang adviser namin, the principal, at ako…for a meeting with the Mayor and Councilor Toot-toot. Ang saya! AAAHHH! THOSE WERE THE DAYS!

I won the Provincial Championship on Spelling and Essay Writing, 3rd year and 4th year respectively. What’s more memorable was that I didn’t get the chance to be awarded because of the coup d’ etat and Sangley Point bombings. Ang ganda…

I was the official timekeeper sa CAT. Bago mag-assemble para sa uwian, center stage ako sabay sigaw ng: ATTENTION IN THE AREA! ATTENTION IN THE AREA! THE TIME IN THE PHILIPPINES INCLUDING SABAH AND VIETNAM IS 1200 HOURS…STANDARD TIME, SIR! (Akala nyo, “Darna!” ang sinisigaw ko noh…)

Ang walang kamatayang ACQUAINTANCE PARTY sa plaza ng Carmona every year!!!! Susko, napatawa ako nang maalala ko. Security measure installed was chicken wire fence...this was during the height of frat wars ha? Sobrang naalala ko pa ang mga songs: Shalamar’s “A Night to Remember”, Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” (asus), The Jets “Rocket 2 U”, “Life Dance”, “Everybody Walk the Dinosaur”, “Supersonic”, “Pop Goes The World” (na kailangan ang costume ay may mga naka-pin na medal), "Swiss Boy", "Don't Cry", "Ring My Bell", "Brother Louie", "Tarzan Boy", "Electric Youth" ni Debbie Gibson at ang mga pang-sweet na “Always” ng Atlantic Starr, “Only You-Starlight Express Medley”, at “Changes in My Life”…bisyo na tooooo!

Of course, we would not be able to dance like pros during the Acquaintance Parties and J.S. Proms if it were not for…(cue fanfare) The Wea Dancers, The Vicor Dancers, and The Octo Arts Dancers!!!! Hahahaha! The costumes!

I was a member of our dance troupe. My most memorable performance was when we danced the “singkil”. Syempre ako ang prinsipe. (although akala ko either ako ang prinsesa o ang taga-payong. Hahahaha!)

Junior Prom was a blast. Saan pa ginanap eh di sa plaza ng Carmona! I remember that day very well. 3rd year girls were supposed to wear peach gowns and senior girls wore pink. Remember the gowns of Manilyn Reynes and Kristina Paner in That’s Entertainment? The fluffy and puffy sleeves and ball gown skirts with flat closed white shoes??? Ganun. At naglalakad lang sa kalye kasi on the way to the plaza kasi nga malapit lang! Hahahaha! Ang mga girlash heavily made up with those “Plinky Recto” tendrils and tissed bangs secured by loads of spray net! Hahahahaha! Kaloka.

Graduation. I graduated valedictorian and made history in the NCEE. (yup. I had to throw that in…)

I had a super fun time! Grabe talaga ito. I recommend it to everyone. I feel better!

Damn! I Think My Boyfriend is Straight!

2006-02-06T13:13:00.000+08:00

Eve of my birthday. Best friend, Ely, came with his wife, Ann, Honorary National Geographic Awardee, Mel, and Laguna fag hag, Joy came armed with lovely Goldilocks cake as birthday gift. After dinner, Ely bought Gran Matador to be consumed while watching WWF Raw. I personally don’t like what I call "the most absurd theatrical production of all time" because it insults my intelligence that a lot of people are suckered into believing that what they do is a sport. Sure they get hurt (I think) and sometimes bleed but puh-leeeaaaassse! Anyway, to my surprise, Boyfriend was into it and even was cheering with Ely and Mel! The testosterone-charged three chugged down shots of Gran Ma and feasted on Boy Bawang while raving about wrestlers and their killer moves. Jerome educated me and walked me through while I sat with the “wives” who patiently waited for their husbands finish having their fun. The scene was taken straight out of a 16th century portrait…men with cigars talking about “man” stuff while the ladies have their tea in their petticoats engaging in chatter about silver, china, draperies, and gardening…desperately trying to be supportive of their husbands. (sighs) I mustered some strength to digest names like Randy Ortonn, Muhammad Hussein (who was so cute!), John Cena (who's even cuter!), Booker T, The Big Show, Hurricane, Undertaker, and Chris Benoit. Boyfriend even walked me through their killer moves, i.e., the Pedigree, RKO, chokeslam, the Figure Four, etc. But...okay, okay. I’m gonna play supportive and involved “girlfriend”…

gulps…

…watches Royal Rumble…

…finds myself rolling eyes almost every minute…

…gives up…

…returns to the “wives table” (and drools over John Cena and Muhammad Hussein *kilig*)…

…glances at boyfriend high-fiving with my straight friends…

…thinks…

…boyfriend’s very techie, leaves clothes in a pile, a left-brainer, loves gadgets, crazy about cars, invests on T3 magazine, loves basketball and routes for Ginebra…

…cloud callout appears: “Shet! I think my boyfriend’s straight!”

Birthday Post to My Birthday Boy

2006-02-06T10:39:00.000+08:00

Ang bilis ng panahon. Dalawang taon na pala kaming nagdidiwang ng espesyal na araw na ito na magkasama.

Masaya. Kung tutuusin hindi ako ang ka date niya ngayon, kundi ang pamilya syempre. Pero mas masaya kasi gumising siya na ako ang katabi. Quesehodang hindi pa kami naghihilamos o nagmumumog. Ang mahalaga, ako ang una niyang makita pag-gising nya.

Maligayang kaarawan mahal ko. Ito lang muna ang tanging maibibigay ko sa iyo sa araw na ito, at ang walang kapantay na pagmamahal sa bawat sandali, minuto, araw, buwan at mga susunod pang taon.

Date tayo bukas ha? Ako taya. :-)

Goodbye "Sesame Street", Hello "Avenue Q"!

2006-01-30T18:02:00.000+08:00

I’m under the “Avenue Q” spell! Yes, my three to five loyal readers. Two years after watching the cast of the musical perform “What Do You Do With a B.A. in English” on the Tony Awards (on cable, of course), I finally have the soundtrack. Thanks to tech-savvy lover, I now have the songs (e.g. "The Internet is For Porn", "Mixed Tape", "You Can Be As Loud As Hell As You Want", "I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today", "If You Were Gay")! (claps, jumps in glee…then pauses to look at readers) Okay, I’m seeing blank stares and cloud-callouts saying “What the hell is he talking about???” Forgive me. Introducing...(cue fanfare)...Avenue Q!!!

“Avenue Q” is a musical which tells the story of Princeton, a bright-eyed college grad who comes to New York City with big dreams and a tiny bank account. He soon discovers that the only neighborhood in his price range is Avenue Q; still, the neighbors seem nice. There's Brian the out-of-work comedian and his therapist fianceé Christmas Eve; Nicky the good-hearted slacker and his roommate Rod -- a Republican investment banker who seems to have some sort of secret; an Internet addict called Trekkie Monster; and a very cute kindergarten teaching assistant named Kate. And would you believe the building's superintendent is Gary Coleman?!? (Yes, that Gary Coleman.) Together, Princeton and his newfound friends struggle to find jobs, dates, and their ever-elusive purpose in life (lifted from www.avenueq.com).

The good thing about the musical is that it combines performances of actors and actors with hand-held puppets. It has been described as “South Park” in motion, and “'Sesame Street' meets MTV’s 'The Real World'”. Deliciously witty and funny! One of the funny songs where I can’t help but roll in laughter is, “Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist” where the characters rant about racism and finally accept the fact that they are “a little bit racist”. It actually knocked me off my high horse! Here’s my high-riding, sanctimonious blog about segregationist attitudes:

BLAME IT ON CHARLES DARWIN
Friday, October 15, 2004

I read this article posted on Friendster about Globe’s promotion of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show. The writer basically said that it was gay-bashing and gender insensitive. Then there’s this article about a group of Christians enraged on the impending relocation of Moslems in their area. And if I’m going to mention issues concerning “isms” that aim to exclude, blogger.com will have to kick me out for overloading their system. People who give their views about equality and condoning these acts of “isms” should be commended—or should they be, myself included?

As an advocate of justice for all, I am really fascinated with people who propagated the idea of “excluding” people because of race, religion, and personal preferences. The Ku Klux Klan, Adolf Hitler, Al Qaeda, Jews, African-Americans and Christians have experienced first hand exclusivity, as implementers or as recipients of such. But these are tragic pieces of history where we can say that a milieu hungry for and in the process of change fuels the need for and resistance to change. But let us fast-forward to current times. People say that the human race has come a long way from its barbaric, medieval, pre-industrialization, conservative views and undertakings. Have we come a long way? The sins of our fathers have seeped through an insatiable generation who constantly pushes the envelope as far as it could. History plus current times equals chaos. People shout justice and equality but we are all guilty of exclusivity and segregationist acts. I feel that it is our need for categorization and labels—an offshoot of the “convenience” modern technology offers to us. Categorization facilitates ease. But in the end, there are too many categories that are one and the same. Example: in filing, accounting files are categorized in sub-files labeled vouchers, invoices, receipts, etc. It is easier, yes. When translated in the context of sociological concepts, it is somehow aligned because it is “easier” but to the detriment of equality. Come to think of it, the influx of “movements” advocating equality are promoting exclusivity. Women having a special caboose at the LRT station (with a sign “PARA SA MGA BABAENG PASAHERO LAMANG” which reminded me of the “COLORED” signs in African-American history), gays and lesbians having their “own” sub-culture, homosexuality having a sub-classification of its own (i.e. COMMONLY SEEN TAGLINES IN GAY DATING WEBSITES/GROUPS: gay and bi men welcome but no effems. Hunky, straight-looking gay and bi males, no effems and chubs allowed), religions factions demanding for their own rights but refuse to recognize other denominations’ rights, rich-poor division, African-Americans feeling discriminated because of the absence of a black person in a corporation, Halle Berry being accused of a racist when she thanked all the black actresses who were nominated in the Oscars but never won because they were “black”. These are a result of categorizations. I wish we could just have one “file” that says PEOPLE and just remove sub-files like MEN, WOMEN, GAY, STRAIGHT, MOSLEMS, CHRISTIANS. The question is: can it be done? I guess equality will remain elusive for it is an absolute concept. The mere fact that the core of our existence as human beings is that we are unique from each other—man as his own microcosm—equality is no longer elusive but unobtainable with this premise. My suggestion is we need to learn to live in a state of co-existence and co-habitation in the midst of an undeniable and infallible diversity. To find that middle ground where we can all stand as people who are different from each other but recognize the fact that we are human beings who breathe the same air and live in the same world—too much to ask but a more realistic and doable challenge.

In the meantime, just for kicks, let’s blame Charles Darwin for this brouhaha over injustice and discrimination for coming up with theory of classification and natural selection. Modern day (pseudo-) intellectuals picked up where he left off and all hell broke lose.
==================

Blah...blah...blah... He he he...

An Angel in Manila

2006-01-23T18:09:00.000+08:00

Oh, I am so excited that I got to feature my fabulous angel pics! These were taken during our company Christmas Party. Our theme was "Festival of Christmas Hats". Why the angel wings? Honey, everyone's wearing a hat, I came in with wings and voila! I'm a star... (laughs haughtily) Why try to fit in when I was born to stand out?

This is my best friend, Nilda, professional fag hag...

Sweating after dancing like hell...but digging being heavenly

My own rendition of Ragan Fox's, Fox in the City. (You have to try and listen to his podcasts. Very vulgar yet sensible.) My friend Nyl said its my impression of Claire Daines' Juliet character in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet...

My favorite picture of all. Thanks to Nilda for capturing the essence of my fabulous and heavenly characteristics...

Brouhaha Over Blog Popularity and Readership

2006-01-22T20:42:00.000+08:00

When i first discovered blogging, I thought: "This is so like the ending of Doogie Howser, M.D.!" Right? At the end of every episode, Doogie writes an entry in his electronic journal and sums up his day, mostly about his insights, learnings, and realizations. Blogging for me was exactly like that...and more of course. It has become an outlet for creative release. But now...something changed. (cue change in musical score from sweet to haunting to chilling and eerie)

I always had the perception that my blogspot is my own pseudo-private space in cyberspace. It has served as a home to my thoughts and insights almost about everything under the sun. But now, after being advised that there's this thing called a "counter" to monitor "hits" to my blogspot, and that its "better" and "nice" to know how many and who visits my blogspot (god, I just had a nosebleed with the tech terms), I find myself always checking it. Now, I seem to be bothered about the number which is supposed to reflect my readership. Especially when I have been registered in the "Pinoy Top Blogs" where I discovered that there exists a ranking system of the most popular and, I guess, most visited pinoy blogs. Then techie boyfriend said, "this is what you should do to increase your readership rate: update your blog more often, go blog-hopping and leave comments on other blogspots and leave your url, and advertise." Did those three things and I guess my readership is not really building compared to others that have thousands of hits and that of techie boyfriend's who's readership rate is faster than a speeding bullet. What do I have to do? I was gradually becoming frustrated....but then...

...I said to myself, "okay, now you allowed your self to be human and be irrational. Stop for a moment, and go back to why you started blogging." I suddenly realized: I FORGOT THAT MY BLOGSPOT IS ABOUT SATISFYING MYSELF and other blogspots are about whatever its owners want them to be. Mine is about creating a nice home for my thoughts. My sanctuary. I guess I was so caught up in the supposed-popularity-determined-by-the-hit-counter-thingy that I forgot the meaningful, sincere comments I got from those who REGULARLY take time to read, digest, and appreciate my stuff and not just make a "hit" at my blogspot. Over and above the comments posted in my blogspot, it is also about the emails I got saying, "Your blog about hickeys was hilarious" or "being desperate is not a bad thing" or "you made me laugh" or "you made me think"--I forgot about these precious moments of genuine appreciation. That by just expressing myself, I had affected people...not by inviting people and letting them in...but just by leaving my door open.

I'm happy I regained my true blogging purpose. I'm just so amazed that I still manage to surprise myself. That I am still, and will always be human, that I still get affected by...well...things :-)

P.S. I suddenly missed the TV show (who could forget his best friend, Vinnie)

I'm Sorry Dear Bridget...

2006-01-13T14:23:00.000+08:00

I'm sure you will be surprised to see this, as it is the place least likely for me to express how deeply sorry I am for the things I have said.

How sad that this post comes after a very loving entry. But it goes to show that ours is not a perfect relationship.

Again my love, I am very sorry. Blame it on the full moon, on my being a Cancerian and a hot-headed arse, or my headache. But I know in the end it is still my fault.

Sorry readers, I know this is too personal, but I have to exhaust all means! I hope you'll understand.

My Manila Post Office Romance

2006-01-12T16:05:00.000+08:00

Sitting in front of the post office by the fountain at the heart of Liwasang Bonifacio waiting for loved one, Jerome. So romantic. (Wanted to wait on the bench where Richard Gomez and Regine Velasquez shot most of their scenes in the movie, Hanggang Ngayon, however there was this group of young kids who were just clowning around. Hmph.) Determined to have a perfect romantic evening, I concentrated on the thought of romance in a park (in Manila for that matter where parks are synonymous to “acts of lasciviousness” and “hada”) and reminisced the time we celebrated our 7th month together as a couple at the Japanese garden in Luneta. Armed with a picnic blanket and basket filled with lasagna (which I baked), cheese, and wine (in truth it’s just 1.5-L of Zesto Dalandan), we enjoyed the night and each other, satisfying our gastronomic and romantic whims.

This makes me think of how important creating romantic moments is in nurturing intimacy. It is more about the accumulation of small yet perfect things rather than the big things that usually happen sporadically. The sweet and naughty smiles, the stolen kisses while walking, dining out on squid balls, strolls by the seawall, these are the things that make me appreciate being with someone. It makes me feel alive—every minute, every second of everyday. I just love being in love…

The Power of Yoda...I mean, Yoga...

2006-01-07T16:10:00.000+08:00

I was tempted to put a picture of the great Yoda in homage to the Sharon entry in Calm Before the Storm blogspot, where he placed a picture of Sharon Cuneta first instead of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, who is the main feature of the blog. Witty and priceless...just priceless...

okay, what the hell, let's do it! This blog is not about...

...Yoda.........

...it's about Yooooooo-gaaaaa, Yoga!

There you go. Yo-ga't it! (pushing too far, right?)

Anyway, as part of laying down the foundation for a new improved, vitamin-enriched me, I am now on a no-carb, no-sugar diet. Yes. I had a Bridget Jones epiphany when I saw my ass which is, as my guru has classily and most eloquently described, "the size of Brazil." Uh-huh. In the spirit of the United Nations and the Philippines' Millenium Development Goals, I too have set very important goals for improvement of the self. (My God, the achievement of these goals will greatly contribute to the MDG's, so please don't trivialize my efforts! *haughtily turns away*). I mean, I ended the year by dyeing my hair a brown color (actually its a mixture of medium brown and mocha. fabulous!), and getting sick with acute tonsilitis which forced me to go on a diet (I just love the benefits of being sick? hurrah to disease and illness! *claps*). Anyway, as part of the things to be done to achieve my personal MDG to lose 35 pounds by the end of January 2006, I am complementing the diet with regular yoga sessions in my room. uuuuh! i so look forward to my yoga sessions which usually takes me 2 hours. Here are some of the poses that I can now do.

(Top to bottom): virabhadrasana (warrior position), parsvottanasana, trikonasana, parsvakonasana, ardha chandrasana (half-moon position), setu bandhadandasana (variation of bridge position), supta parivrttasana, sarvangasana, and halasana.

=======================================================
As the fundamental pose and what I use to begin my yoga session, the picture found in the beginning of this blog is the basic pose called, tadasana (mountain pose). To cool down, I use another variation of the upavishta parivrttasana position. I can't wait to do more of the poses. I'm no yoga expert but I feel great and relaxed after each round of these poses. We often hear the phrase in yoga, "find your center", I sure have, my loves... :-)

Acknowledgment: Thank you to www.yogacards.com for the pics. Please visit the website for more of the poses.

Greatest Films Ever Made (My Version)

2006-01-04T19:37:00.000+08:00

What is it in a movie that makes it great? It is when you want to watch it over and over again and it still has the same effect on you and makes you remember the most delicious lines ever written. The greatest films made are those where you still discover something new when you watch it.

----Jerome C. Daclison, Film Enthusiast

========================================================

Don't you just love the opening blurb? I bet you thought it came from some "can't-distinguish-from-a-true-or-pseudo-film critic." But I guess that's what watching movies is all about. It is about "you"--the audience--that determines what a great film is. As a film enthusiast, all I can do is SHARE, not IMPOSE, some films that I thought were great. So expect a series, my loves. But what I'm gonna SHARE right now are some of the films that I've watched a gazillion times already but still affects me like its the first time I've watched it. I hope you try them and post a comment if you liked or hated them. Popcorn, softdrinks, and butterfly kisses to all!

The Godfather Trilogy

Yeah, yeah. I know some of you would say, "bleech! that is so given!" Hold your horses, freakshows! Here's a question for you. Have you tried watching the three in one day? Oh please do. Ten hours of pure excellence. Lots of memorable lines: "Make them an offer that they cannot refuse" and "keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer". I've gained wisdom from the trilogy. So enjoy watching. Note: Watch what happens every time there's a shot with an orange or oranges.

Alien Series

I ask you to ponder on this: Can you think of anyone else that could play Lt. Eleanor Ripley other than Sigourney Weaver? Post a comment if you want to. But for me, she kicked ass! And who could ever forget that scene from "Aliens" where Ripley comes out in the hydraulic thingy then shouts at the alien queen, "Get away from her, you bitch!" Taraaaaaaaaay! Winner! Watch all of it. She goes through a lot of conflicts in every sequel.

Misery

Now, this is a film where you will get a heart attack every time Nurse Annie Wilkes throws a fit. Very well crafted, well-acted, and well-directed. Rob Reiner delivers his best by taking this Stephen King novel and harnessing the talents of two exceptional actors, James Caan (The Godfather) and Kathy Bates (who won the Oscar Best Actress in 1991). Oh please watch this! Please, please, please! Look out for the dinner scene where Nurse Wilkes makes a toast, "To Misery..." Damn!

Dolores Claiborne

Talk about showdown of talents with Kathy Bates and Jennifer Jason Leigh on the film. Delicious. But in this film, I love the character of Vera Donovan (played by Judy Parfitt) Oh, I hate her for having the most divine diva lines! (An accident, Dolores, can be an unhappy woman's best friend... & "...sometimes being a high-riding bitch is all that a woman can hang on to.") Hate her!

An Affair To Remember

Deborah Kerr and Cary Grant exemplifies good chemistry. Blame this movie for the existence of people demanding for romance. Once the first note of the musical score plays, I'm a goner. Floodgates. I know all the lines by heart. If you want a romantic evening with your partner, make sure you watch this. (I promise you the sex is gonna be sooooo great after watching this....)

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

A far cry from the whining Fran Fine, the flying Mary Poppins, and Regine Velasquez in "Wanted: Perfect Mother", watch out for Rebecca de Mornay's performance as a vengeful wife posing as a nanny. This movie is a template for screenwriters and may I just say that this movie inspired me to write...

Shining Through

Word to describe my experience in watching this film: SPLENDID. Loved everything about the film. Watch out for Melanie Griffith in a ball gown and high heels while running from the Gestapo. Love it, love it, love it!

The American President

Romance between the President of the United States and an environmental lobbyist? That's the premise of this beautiful film (which I've watched a hundred gazillion times). I just love Annette Bening's character, Sydney Ellen Wade, and her witty lines: "This is not a state of mind. When I'm in a room with you, oval or any shape, I will always be a lobbyist and you will always be the President..."

Kung Ako Na Lang Sana

Close your mouths and cut the flabbergasted, astounded reaction!!!! I really love this film. I'm a Sharonian, yes. But this is one film that is really good. It accurately depicts the realities of friendship, and that most of the time, it serves as the foundation of an intimate relationship. Try it before you say, "I will not watch a movie with Sharon and Aga and Tintin Bersola-Babao!!!" At some level, you'll connect...

Bridget Jones's Diary

Of course this will be on my list!!!!!! Sacrilege for even thinking that I will even forget my guru. Love her, love her, worship her!

525,600 Minutes

2006-01-01T18:08:00.000+08:00

How do you measure a year? In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights and cups of coffee? In inches? In miles of laughter and striving? How do you measure a year? How about…LOVE?
==================================================

Before I break out into song ala Rent where these [favorite] lines from the song "Seasons of Love" from the same musical, let me just say that this is a good way to return to blogging (where I have been delinquent, I admit). Measuring a year in the life of a handsome, thirty-something, quirkyhappy man would be an exciting comeback. So, in homage to me and Bridget Jones, here is my year…in numbers:

Life and Work in General

Number of trips to ukay-ukay = countless
Number of ukay items purchased = 85% of wardrobe are from ukay
Number of thongs received as gift = 2 (1 red and 1 black)
Number of violent encounters with police = 1
Number of nervous breakdowns at work = 7
Number of debacles with cab drivers = 14

Number of times I was mistaken to be Anthony Pangilinan = 22 (I was tempted to say countless because this is the truth but for the sake of humility, I trimmed it down to 22)

Number of times I made my bosses squirm = 9
Number of trips to Mindanao = 13
Number of times I got to “suroy-suroy” during trips to Mindanao = 1
Number of times left by plane = 1 (and we learned our lesson…)
Number of times I worked over the weekend = I don't want to remember...
Number of Trips to Divisoria = 1
Number of Sick Days from Trip to Divisoria = 4 (last day spilled over January 1 so I was sick on New Year's Eve)
Number of pseudo-Ex-es who reconnected = 5
Number of fights with boyfriend over pseudo-Ex-es = lost track...
Number of "almost affairs" = 1 (but it didn't happen, okay?)
Number of times we moved = 1
Number of fights with Mom and my Sister= lost track…
Number of times Mom and Sister and I made up = always…

But most of all, accounting 2005 will not be complete without mentioning the love I received from my boyfriend and partner in crime ( who managed to screw this blog the minute he attempted to mess with the template)

Number of missed kisses = 13
Number of foot-popping kisses = countless
Number of mood clashes = 13
Number of fights = 18
Number of times we kissed and made up = always
Number of make up sex resulting from kissing and making up = (why do you think I always pick a fight? *smiles naughtily*)
Number of times I cried on boyfriend's shoulder = 2
Number of times boyfriend cried on my shoulder = 1 (he rarely cries...)
Number of time he loved me = 525,600 minutes

... and counting

Making Love the Main Event

2005-05-05T04:55:00.000+08:00

Meredith and Gretchen – Love Without Time

Meredith and Gretchen (the old couple) were finally eliminated from the "Amazing Race 7". But regardless of their loss, Meredith professed his love for Gretchen and referred to her as his “amazing woman” and showing to the entire world how he could not imagine himself without her. Gretchen responded by saying that by reaching as far as the top four enabled both of them to create memories that they will share for the rest of their life. (officially shed a tear after writing that) I am so privileged to have followed them and I sincerely wanted for them to win. Each episode revealed how much love these two have shared throughout time and it just makes me cry in joy…

Todd and Charlie – Love Blooms in Mysterious Ways

Todd and Charlie are the main characters in the movie, “No Cameras Allowed” shown on Cinemax. The premise of the movie was about Charlie, a single, 28-year old woman who owns a bookstore and Todd, producer of the “For Love or Money-esque” reality show “I Wanna Marry Ryan Banks” which features Ryan Banks, Todd’s best friend. Charlie was convinced by her sister, a certified Ryan Banks fan, to audition for the show. Charlie got in and during the course of the show, she was able to get to know Todd more…and vice-versa. Todd and Charlie both find themselves in a dilemma. Todd still producing the show and Charlie wanting to leave the show to be with Todd. Hey, we know how this is going to end. Todd ended up marrying with Charlie. (you have to watch what happened) I was so kilig and I cried some more. It just made me so happy that Charlie joined a “reality” TV show and ended up with the “real” thing—something that everyone wants…not to mention deserves.

Jerome and Jerome – Something Real

All right. I’m a mess. Just like my friend, Lani Briosos said, I’m just in love with being in love. And I am in love. Both Meredith and Gretchen and Todd and Charlie were so in love and are proud to be in love that they want to share it with the entire world. Is it to inspire others? To gloat to losers out there? Maybe not. I think because of what both couples share is something real, they need no reason to express their undying love for each other. For those who have been religiously following my blog entries, everyone knows that I AM in love but as to whom I am in love with, it is like a rosary (full of mysteries, gaga! Hahaha!). But now, just like Meredith and Gretchen and Todd and Charlie, I myself am proud to be enjoying something real—the joys, the fights and the kiss-and-make-up moments, and the romance. My God, the romance just makes me melt like low-salt butter on freshly baked wheat bread! And I am thankful that God gave me the privilege of meeting the most imperfect person in the entire world who holds my hand in our journey towards perfection: SEÑOR JEROME PRIMAVERA TRINONA. I just love him so much.

It is so overwhelming to see people who are in love and that their love—whether just blooming or has been strengthened by time—is existent. That its out there. I hope everyone gets the chance experience what Barbra Streisand refers to as THE MAIN EVENT.

The Joy of Booboos, The Booboos of Joy

2005-02-15T15:41:00.000+08:00

I missed my blogspot! (Gives my blogspot one of my wet kisses) And what a blog this is going to be. As the title says, it is about the laughter that booboos bring us. But most importantly, it is about one of the most graceful women I have met in my lifetime, one of my best friends, my sis, Carmen Joy Cabangon. Why graceful? Well, she is graceful even under fire from her booboos. Move over Melanie Marquez coz we got our own book to publish soon! As a preview, here are some of the classic booboos of Joy where she brings joy to booboos:

Lola? Granny!

INT. JEEP. DAY

Ely and Joy exchanging views about love when Googoo Dolls’s “Iris” plays on the radio.

JOY
Ay, gusto ko yan! (grooves with the music)

ELY (blandly)
Ok lang.

JOY

Hoy, magaling ang Googoo Dolls noh! Nanalo na nga siya ng GRANNY AWARD eh.

Ely laughs out loud while Joy innocently bites finger.

The Yankees are Coming

Joy came over the house to tell us about her date.

JOY
Huy! Ang gwapo-gwapo ng ka-date ko kagabi!

ME
(excited) My gosh, talaga? Details, mare.

JOY
Ang puti! Ang ganda magdamit. Typical na YANKEE.

ME (furrows brow in confusion and decides to ask for clarification)
Parang New Yorker mag-damit? Sex and the City ang style?

JOY
Yung parang mga businessman sa Makati. Ganun sya magdamit.

ME
Mare, YUPPY yun. Ayan ka na naman eh.

Joy cutely bites finger.

New Ice Cream Flavors

JOY
Hoy, mga brother! Bili naman tayo ng ice cream. Parang nagke-crave ako eh.

ELY
Oo ba! Anong gusto mong flavor?

JOY (enthusiastically)
Yung DUTCH DOUBLE!

ELY (laughs)
O sige. Ako naman gusto ko, ROAD ROCKY. Hahahahahaha!

JOY
Ay oo nga. Baligtad…(bites finger)

Shall We Dance?

Ely, Oliver, and Joy are ready to go home.

JOY
Hoy, bilisan nyo na noh! Alas-dos na baka wala akong masakyan.

OLIVER
Okay. O, pano Joy? Shall we?

JOY
Shall we.

OLIVER (laughs)
Gawin daw bang declarative sentence?

Joy bites finger.

Charades Fever

Oliver’s turn to act. Picked “The American President” from the lots. Starts to act. Joy in Oliver’s team.

OLIVER
(Points to nose as sign for “The”)

JOY

The…

OLIVER
(Acts out US flag)

JOY
Flag? America? American? (excited when Oliver acknowledges her correct answer) (Joy becomes excited) The American….The American…. The American….(triumphantly) Alam ko na!!!! THE AMERICAN PIE!

Everyone rolls in laughter.

Clothes Galore

Me trying out a body-hugging shirt

JOY
Grabe, Jay! Bagay pala sa yo ang BODY HUGGARD.

ME (laughs)
Jooooooy!!!

Clothes Galore 2

JOY
Hoy, Jay! Ang ganda-ganda ko kanina. Naka-HALTERED ako kanina! (with matching demo of a halter top)

ME
Joy, HALTER…

JOY
Ay, wala pala siyang “D” sa huli.

ME
(slaps forehead)

The Cable Guy

OLIVER
Dapat pala maging judge ka sa “Iron Chef”. Napapanood mo ba yun?

JOY
Oo naman. Meron namang cable company sa Manila na ganun. Ano nga ba yung cable company na yun? (tries to remember then triumphantly exclaims) Ayun! Yung DESTINY’S CABLE!

OLIVER (laughs)
Ano yun? Destiny’s Child?
(Cue Kelly, Michele, and Beyonce to the tune of “Survivor”: I’m an INSTALLER, I’m a COLLECTOR….)

Seven Days

Last December 27, 2005....

JOY
Hoy, mga brother! Naka-chat ko si OJ kanina. (Note: He's in Canada)

ME
O, kumusta daw sya?

JOY
Ok lang naman. Kaya lang nagtaka ako kasi binati ko siya. Sabi ko: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Ang sagot nya sa kin: Sa isang linggo pa yun...

ELY
Bakit ka nagtaka?

JOY
Kasi...seven days ba ang difference natin sa Canada?

ELY (laughs)
Ano yun, nasa Pluto si OJ?

--oOo--

Isn’t it fun? But before you go and insult our best friend. Let me tell you that she is better than most of us because she is open to correction and was never ashamed of being wrong. Unlike most of us who are guilty of being smug and quick in judging other people for their shortcomings, she accepts criticism with grace and dignity. We admire her for that and we commend her for exhibiting humility under ridicule and being brave to say, NOW I KNOW. Bravo, Joy! Hats off to you.

Bday post

2005-02-07T09:32:00.000+08:00

I wont bow down to the pressures of literary introductions, that of sticking to the doctring of writing a captivating introduction, so i wont be forced to write an intro as disturbing as the one you wrote for kuya ol's bday (ugh!) hehehe!
putangina, an dami din namin napagsamahan ni J. How radical was the change I went through when I first met him to the time that I left. I have to say that my left took sharp turn for the better since I met the J and the ISP family, and I wouldnt want it any other way.

Me and J have been friends and brother in the best of moments, such as house-rock-throwing, wandering the back streets of Pacita full up on gin, naghihiwa ng kalabasa atbp gulay sa kusina, both physically and mentally (hahahaha!)I'm probably one of the very very very few people in the world, that gets to hassle J and still get away with being called his friend :D Seriously though, i always believe that something good comes out of our conflicts. Oo, sigurop minsan more bad than good, pero at least may good d ba? I know at times I have driven J to the point of insanity and frustration, cue Moving house, Voices 5, DataLine, swimming, pero nagpapasalamat parin ako na kaibigan parin kami.

Even though ive only known J for a (relatively) short period of time, our relationship is as deep and meaningful as any others that span for a lifetime. He is my mentor, advisor, drinking partner, teacher, friend, and brother. All these memories that we speak of will get old, kaya kelangan natin gumawa ng bago :P inom ulit tayo! Happy Birthday pare! I wish you all the best for the future, you deserve all the success that life can give.

OJ

How Many in Your Friendster Friends List are REALLY Your Friends?

2005-01-30T18:25:00.000+08:00

Okay, thought to ponder on: don't you just hate it that eventhough you have "friends" in your "friends list", you feel like you don't have "friends" at all? Although there is an irony about MySpace and Friendster on this premise, I also believe that it does follow the lines of reality. I mean, come to think of it. You want to have friends and just like in real life, you look for them. In Friendster and MySpace, we "browse". If we find someone we like, we invite them to be our friends--just like in real life. Some will reject or just ignore our invitation (those who don't want us to be friends or those who just have no guts to be frank) and some will accept our invitation. But just like in real life, there are those who accepted our invitation para lang mukhang dumami ang friends or it’s just embarrassing to reject the invitation. So, some of those friends just become acquaintances. But there are those who really become your friends or ARE already your friends in the truest sense. This is what matters. My point? Just let it be if you have acquaintances who don't even bother to send a message and are content to be a numerical addition to their friends list. Just bear in mind that the important thing is out of the hundreds of friends in your "friends list" (in fairness, I see some accounts with 500 friends), you have a number of those whom you can really call friends--those who will be there to lend their support and really give you a true, kick-ass testimonial because they know you from head to toe, surface to soul, or better yet, because you have touched their lives in one way or another—not just a lame, moosehead, mindless one-liner like “You're hot!”.or "Hello! Add me." (What the hell is that?)

Now, I challenge you. How many in your list are acquaintances, just friends, and real friends? For some reason, some people automatically proclaim themselves as winners of the MR. AND MS. FRIENDSHIP AWARDS just because they have hundreds of “friends” in their friends list. I suggest a thorough reality check.

Losing Charlie, Finding Julia

2005-01-16T14:19:00.000+08:00

My dog Julia. She's the other love of my life.

I decided to make an article in honor of the other love of my life, Julia. She’s my ever-loyal, affectionate, and loving dog. She’s one-third Spitz, one-third Askal, and one-third human. Yes. I would like to think she’s a human because she expresses emotions the way we do. I can talk to her and believe me when I say that she answers back. Oh yes, my dear fans. She DOES answer back. She smiles at me, tells me that she loves and/or misses me, and if she’s mad or is making “tampo” to me, believe me…she makes sure that I know what she feels. Not only does she provide companionship and love to all of us but she becomes my shield from pressure of being single! Hahahaha! Yes, my dear fellow single, thirty-something quirkyalones. My advice is you give your pets human names so that your parents would feel like they have grandchildren. (Mom shouting at my dog: Julia! Ano ka ba? Labas ka nang labas baka masagasaan ka dyan! Pumasok ka sa bahay!) O di ba? Hahahaha!

Why the sudden urge to write about Julia? I was rummaging through my Dear God journal and I found this section of an entry:

October 29, 2002
11:55 p.m.

…Charlie’s presence has really made a difference in the atmosphere here at home. I’m gonna make an article about the importance of family in the eyes of a lost dog who has found his way home….

Charlie was our dog who got lost and found his way home. Although when we transferred to our new house in Pacita II, someone took him and we lost him again. But finding Julia brought us new joy—a different one maybe because she’s a girl (so gender-insensitive. Hahaha!). Well, almost three years passed and I would like to live up to that commitment. In homage to the love and loyalty of Charlie and Julia, here it is.

Losing Charlie

Oliver Twist(ed) and Fabulous

2005-01-16T10:45:00.000+08:00

On that cold night of April 15, 1979, nature decided to work wonders by producing another life. Two human beings who are deeply in love with each other decided to express their love for each other by engaging in rapturous love-making—sweaty bodies rubbing against each other, breathing heavily as both rhythmically dance to the music of each other’s love and as their dance build up in a manic crescendo, their bodies spasmodically twitch and jerk and they cap their ecstasy by letting out a moan of satisfaction. Not only have were they joyous in their physical expression of love, unbeknownst to them they have produced life. Nine months after, a bouncing baby boy was born. His name: Oliver Ofiana y Santiago. All I can say is…..eeeewww!!!! I wanted a novel way to open this tribute of my dear friend on his birthday but I guess saying that I went overboard is the greatest understatement of my life! (I will never be able to look at Tito Oca and Tita Yoly the same way again. Eew, eew, eew! Failed attempt to control-alt-delete mental image! Hwaaa!) What’s done is done.

First Meeting (Let’s Play, “What’s the First Thing that Popped in My Mind?”)

If there is one thing that sticks out in my memory of meeting Oliver for the first time, it’s what popped in my mind with matching cloud callout ha: “Sixth member of the Backstreet Boys?” Hahahaha! The image of this towering almost-6-footer in cargo shorts, shirt, fisherman’s vest, rubber shoes, with matching huge headphones that reminded me of the movie “Pushing Tin” (as in ganun kalaki ang headphones). And just like seeing the Backstreet Boys for the first time, the first thing that came in my mind was the question: “He’s so stylish. Is he gay?” Hahahaha! Then he spoke in a deep, well-modulated voice and I squinted my eyes thinking: “Hmm….still ambivalent.” Hahahaha! Then came the famous movie trivia of which I found my match. (thinking cloud callout pops out: Gaydar’s now officially given a nudge from ambivalent to potentially gay. Hahaha!). When Oliver left, I knew we will be very good friends from then on.

Oliver Twist(ed)

Why twisted? Oh…my…God! He is twisted in two ways. First, he’s the only living replacement to Rex Navarette. Oliver’s wit is unbelievable and that’s one thing that I really miss about him. The spectrum of comedy that we cover ranges from jologs to Robin Williams-esque. Kaya lang he’s still guilty of the “3rd-Joke Syndrome” which he never quite seem to get rid of. (winks at Oliver) Second, when it comes to love, he becomes twisted. Just like Ely, his Achilles heel is women. I have witnessed Oliver’s twisted surrender to love and life when his girlfriend broke up with him. His billiards sessions and affairs with Red Horse were heartbreaking and maddening to watch. (oh, by the way, his official version of this bum period is that he was just “socializing with his constituency as part of building camaraderie.” What a load of crap….) Well, those were the days. He is currently hitched and happy—but still twisted in a good (?) way. Why the (?)? Oh, the “high school-ness” of his manner of expressing his love makes me queasy! Classic is the “lunar reference”—he told his girlfriend, Ann, that every night on the same time, they should look at the moon for them to be “together even when they are apart.” Damn! It does not end there—it has become an obsession for them with the existence of pillows with moon prints, pictures edited using Photoshop to include the moon, moon notebooks, and moon pet names (Lunar Bear and Lunar Pout). Need I say more? But however twisted he may be, I still am very fond of him because he is fun to be with.

Fabulously Yours, Oliver

Yes. He signs his letters that way. “Queer Eye’s” Fab 5 should have been Fab 6. He is very stylish and very conscious about color schemes and combinations. He actually knows colors like magenta, chartreuse, and periwinkle, and can identify all hues of the green family of colors. He carries his own kikay bag contents of which are “male products” (yeah right!). Can’t live without his facial scrub and leave-on conditioner. Who can blame him? He’s Mr. AMA, male model extraordinaire. Hahahaha!

Oliver--Canadian Idle

When Oliver left for Canada, we felt the loss. ISP is one twisted and fabulous individual less. That’s life. People move on and explore. Though I’m sad of his leaving, I am also happy coz my dear friend is testing his endurance and capacity to make priorities. So far, he sucks…hahaha! Hence the title. Joke! No, I’m proud coz as of this writing, he is idle no more. Even though he is not physically present, I still feel his presence…parang ghost ba. I will always have my memories of him. Till we meet again, Jack McFarlane! Mwah!

Jerome Daclison's Diary/Blogspot -- Same Me, Different Lovelife, With New Year's Resolutions

2005-01-01T18:08:00.000+08:00

Yup! Just like Bridget Jones, it is a new year and a new chapter in my life for me. I have now been upgraded from "Dining Alone" to "With Company". First step (which is to find partner) is now accomplished. Now comes the bigger and more difficult part which--also--a lot of NGOs seem to have failed: SUSTAINABILITY. Yes, now is the challenge of keeping what I now have. I remember Katharine Hepburn's line in the movie "Love Affair": Getting what we want is easy. The trick in life is wanting what we have after getting it. Hmmm...(fingers drumming) Well, I am up for the challenge. As I said to my loved one (damn! saying that felt nice and tingly), we're just gonna savor each moment, carpe diem, and go through our relationship one day at a time.

So happy! I now have my first new year's resolution. Next is go to the gym by January 16 for me to qualify for manhunt in 4-6 months.

There...good luck.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

A River [Supposedly] Runs Through It -- A Review of "Panaghoy Sa Suba"

2005-01-01T15:48:00.000+08:00

The movie is commendable with its novelty by showcasing Bohol and mounting a film done entirely in native Visayan dialect with English subtitles. (If memory serves me right, the only film which was done in 90% Visayan is “Milyonaryong Mini” with Manilyn Reynes and John Estrada) It gave the movie the feel of a foreign film. This attempt to showcase is successful in gaining good reviews although it is also a disadvantage since it somehow “alienated” the Tagalog audience making them “foreigners” evident by box-office turnout. The strength of the film is on the rawness of the performances of all the actors who donned their natural kayumanggi with no make up and armed only with their beings. Credit should be given to Cesar Montano for taking this direction away from enhancement and instead giving emphasis on realism and simplicity by drawing out the best in the actors. Montano was able to create memorable scenes in the film special mention to the boat scene with Iset and Duroy which established the premise and opening of the film, the birthday scene, and the extreme long shot of the funeral cortege in the Loboc River. From a non-thespian, the technical proficiency of ALL the actors was effective and believable. Special recognition to Juliana Palermo who delivered a breakthrough performance and Rebecca Lusterio who captured the genuine essence of the youngest sister of a rural family, deserving of the “and” in the billing credits. Although, I would have to say that Daria Ramirez shined the brightest in the film and should be given the highest recognition possible for playing the role of the depressed mother. Her role was relatively short but was pivotal in the exposition of the characters of Duroy and Bikay. The scene with Daria and Rebecca was overflowing with honesty and sadness that it grabs the audience by the chokehold and forces us to cry with them, especially with the melancholic yet sweet and hopeful score provided by the Loboc Children’s Choir.

The downfall of the movie is the inability to expand and develop such a novel concept. The screenwriter failed to follow through with reference to the sweet and tender premise and opening. The subplot on the Japanese occupation seemed to have overshadowed the [supposed] primary driving force of Duroy—his love for Iset. Another area of weakness is the thin characterization brought by the unclear motives of the primary and secondary characters that affected the accuracy and astuteness of the performance of the actors. There were not enough cues that would make the audience cheer for the characters since their actions are heavily grounded on the existing milieu and situation which is the Japanese occupation. The situations of the characters were not compelling enough to justify some of their actions, particularly the seemingly accepting Iset of the love of Mr. Smith and Fumio which detaches her character from the opening and premise. This stems from the screenwriter’s failure to weave the story for it to achieve coherence. Most importantly, the river seemed to have remained a symbol and a metaphor of Duroy’s journey instead of it being treated as a primary character in the story that could have created the resonance that the movie needed. Technically, Montano still needs improvement as far as choice of shots is concerned. There was a lax, non-purposeful, and over use of the crane shot and reverse shots which distracts the audience from what the scene wishes to convey. Cinematography was also a failure since some of the shots and scenes were not well-lighted which affects the scenes. Most of the time, Duroy is wearing his straw hat and the shadow cast by its brim covers the eyes of Montano of which the audience cannot see his eyes in key scenes. Stock shots used seemed to have been shot digitally which diminished the quality and impact of transitions. The quality of blast effects is also an area that was not well-planned resulting to mediocre and substandard effects that looked like a bad fireworks display.

Given its originality and rawness, the film is generally good. However, “Panaghoy sa Suba” is a classic case of a poorly developed excellent concept that was salvaged by outstanding and unadulterated performances of its actors.

Under the Influence of Love (UTL) - My Own Couch Story

2004-12-22T09:05:00.000+08:00

I am now in a Bridget Jones moment. I wanna shout the way she did it, "Hurrah! I now have boyfriend! Want to scream in joy in a manner of Grace Kelly"! (sans scarf, pixie glasses, and top down car, of course. Damn!) Yes, I am currently taking a break from being single and detached (so real estate). I can now go to Friday’s and not be harassed with questions like, "Table for two, Sir? (Me: No.) Your party’s waiting for you? (Me: No.) Oh you’re waiting for someone then? (Me already pissed off: No. Is it out of this world for someone to dine alone???) I’ll take you to your table then. (Crew gives me a crappy table by the kitchen door where you have a 98% chance of being run over by servers)" Well, not anymore, folks! I now have the opportunity to dance in the streets with someone, look at the world through rose-colored windows everyday, and I now have a regular supply of sweet text messages like "good morning", "good afternoon", "good night", and "have you eaten?" And I have a last call at night! I feel nice and all tingly inside. (giggles like a young boy)

I again rummaged through my Dear God journal and I found this entry:

October 28, 2002
11:55 p.m.

U.T.L.

We are so obsessed with witty acronyms. After the very much used and abused UTI (Under the Influence of Alcohol), UTL or "under the influence of love" seems to be in fashion nowadays. The Saturday Gin Fest showcased not only UTI moments but UTL ones, as well. Seeing Jen and OJ on the couch, stargazing, heads leaning on each other is priceless (parang Mastercard commercial! Hahaha!). I never knew how a lovely sight of sweetness can generate a huge amount of kilig response compared to two-dimensional characters in a chick flick/date movie. I’m so glad OJ’s happy. Well, I’m happy coz I still FEEL the feeling. But now I want to feel it WITH SOMEONE. Grace has been in my mind and heart constantly. I wait for her to call, I can’t wait to call her, I love love how she makes me laugh with her wit and charm. (sigh) Hahahaha! But seriously, seeing people with someone is a validation of a void which I have ignored for so long. I can’t classify this as loneliness but I can’t say that I’m jumping for joy either. All I can say is that the moment she mentioned that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is also her hero, I fell in love with her. May your will be done, Lord.
-oOo-

Well, two years have passed and a record number of 21 dates in 4 months, I have someone. (Madison Square Garden cheers, decibel levels hit the roof) I am happier now. Why? Coz now I have my own couch story (winks). Labia, babe! Both minora and majora pa. Hahaha!

Give Love on Christmas Day

2004-12-21T17:02:00.000+08:00

The Jacksons struck oil with the classic holiday tune hit, "Give Love on Christmas Day" with its excellent arrangement and easy lyrics (not to mention the "hoo-hoo-hoo’s"). But this blog is not about a review of the song. Heaven forbid if I invade review music as well. No. This is about what it means.

I was on my way to have my haircut today. Heaven knows how my aesthetic value has decreased by 22% due to long hair so the urgency of a haircut was existent. Anyway, I was in the jeep sitting beside this very old woman in her late 80"s. Her skin was shriveled and creased both from age and the harshness of life. She has involuntary twitching on her cheeks (squiggling as Dylan said) that was almost sadly grotesque. I was surprised when she talked to me, informing me that she is going to San Antonio, Binan Market. Knowing that she took the wrong ride, I informed her that she needs to take another jeep. She paused then she answered, "Hindi kasi ako marunong magbasa. Nahihilo na nga ako eh. Kanina pa akong umaga hindi kumakain." I asked her why she was alone. She said, "Iniwan na ako ng mga anak ko." I was struck with a stabbing pain as my heart broke of her incapacity and state of being alone and unloved which was evident in the bitterness in her voice. I forced back my tears and told her that I shall accompany her. We got off at Morales, she taking baby steps and I carried her big bag. We boarded a tricycle and she said to me, "Salamat, iho. Napakabait mo." I could not hold back the tears so I cried. I got off at Bambi’s salon, paid the driver fifty pesos, and gave the change of thirty pesos to the old lady. She held my hand and she struggled to look me straight in the eye and said, "Salamat." As the tricycle drove away and before I proceeded to getting my now trivial and mundane haircut, I lit a cigarette and contemplated on what I have done. I made someone happy and for a moment maybe I have given someone the gift of being and feeling loved in the direst of circumstances. As I gave my almost extinguished cigarette a last puff, I would never forget the old lady who just gave me the gift of re-introducing me to the meaning of giving.

Flight of the OJ-Siris

2004-12-12T10:15:00.000+08:00

I just thought of my dear friend and brother, Oscar Ofiana Jr. or OJ and Clubber Lang as we fondly call him. Let me share an entry in my journal that described how I and the rest of our friends felt when OJ left on Feb. 5, 2004.

-oOo-

Countdown: T-minus Two Days

It was noodle night. Sogtanghon for all the friends. After that, consumption of two bottles of Emperador as a send-away gift to OJ. Tonight was full of laughter, years of friendship in review, and having a great time. Nobody dared say anything about OJ’s leaving. As everyone makes their way to parting ways, I saw OJ’s smile and the usual non-verbal banter we have over Ely’s [alleged] new-found love. Still connected with him—and it made me happy.

The Last Walk. Everyone is still not saying a word about OJ while walking towards the terminal where OJ shall board the usual jeep to go home. The only difference this time is that it is a one-way ride.

Final Handshakes. Everyone gave OJ a hug and their goodbyes. As OJ hugged me twice, floodgates opened. It suddenly sank—I won’t be seeing my brother anymore and it made me cry even more. As the jeep drove away, I suddenly remembered the line from the movie “Someone Like You”: There is something sad about someone leaving you. As you see him walk away and the distance between your bodies becomes bigger and bigger until there’s nothing left…but empty space.

Countdown: T-minus One Day

Dissecting Sadness. Everyone prepared their letters for OJ to be placed in one of my innovations: the ISP Memory Box. It was a bittersweet journey. I got to relive my friendship with OJ. I cannot imagine that I have witnessed the blossoming of my brother into a fine young man. I have been there at every smile and heartache. I am glad that I have been part of his life. I just hope he could find a way to strengthen our friendship even more and see him evolve.

OJ’s Jen. Seeing Jen cry after writing “Dear OJ-comma” was something that I would never ever want to see again. I could not fathom the pain and the heartbreak. I felt her sadness—the thought of losing someone you love. The process of convincing herself that she accepts the reality of things was painful to watch. One minute your life is filled with happy Kodak moments and the next thing, a dark cloud seems to linger and threatens you of gloomy days ahead. I pray for her strength—and OJ’s too.

Countdown: T-minus 11 Hours to the Flight of the OJ-Siris

In the office waiting for OJ’s call was met with anticipation from my end. My brother actually decided to make a last call—and I was flattered and honored. But as I looked at the clock, it was 11:15 a.m. I thought, maybe OJ spent his last minutes with Jen. So, I just sent him a bon voyage text message.

Unlikely Surprise. Minutes after I sent the message, Kay informed that someone was looking for me. I thought it was one of our emotionally dysfunctional clients seeking counseling. Lo and behold, it was OJ! My brother decided to give me a last visit. I was very honored. (Commercial Break: I just cried typing this portion. Okay to continue…) He gave me a shirt as a remembrance. The whole time we were talking, I was tryin to hold back the tears. I was successful for awhile but when it was really time for him to go, we shook hands one last time, hugged, and I lost it. I cried so hard. I waited for myself to calm down. When it was time for him to go board the jeep we flagged down, I gave him a pat on the shoulder. I will never forget the pat he gave me on my hand and the smile he gave me. My brother just gave me my best memory of him. As the jeep drove off, I know everything is going to be fine.

-oOo-

I am so fortunate to have had the opportunity to cross paths and be friends with extraordinary people. It makes living life so damn worthwhile.

Let's Play, "What Does That Mean?"

2004-12-06T10:18:00.000+08:00

It has been one hell of a month and I have gathered experiences that have generated some of the most hilarious moments that I shall always carry for the rest of my life. These are represented with the following lines that may be vague to you but carries a LOOOOT of meaning to me. No explanations, just let your imagination take you to unexplored heights and unfathomable depths. (smiles sweetly and naughtily at the same time)

(1) Your welcome….(intonation high on “your”, then drops at “welcome”)

(2) I just love my Bicol Express. It’s so hot—just the way I like it.

(3) Big One is bisexual.

(4) I swear! Eskinol Papaya Facial Scrub contains REAL papaya. Thanks KC Concepcion, my faith in truth in advertising has been restored.

(5) Don’t judge a building by its façade—take Aris Pension House as an example.

(6) I can’t believe that I have a knack for drilling holes.

(7) Western-Pacific in Batangas?

(8) Our strategy to promote TB is ENFU-DESEMENISHUN.

(9) So many cocks, so little time.

(10) I wanna learn the Cebuano dialect.

Have fun with interpretation. :-)

Ang Patulera

2004-12-05T11:32:00.000+08:00

My fellow-Aquarian, kumadre, and best gal pal, Nilda and I have developed a new sub-concept of bitchiness: the PATULERA. The patulera (and patulero) exhibits wit and sarcasm of a true blue bitch and reacts to any situation so long there is an opening to bring out the natural patulera diva in you.

Etymological derivation:

Patol – A Tagalog term which mean “you make patol someone” (colloquial daw c/o Dylan)

-era – A suffix which means “female” (-ero for “males”)

Illustrative Example 1:

We were in a bar/restaurant in Panglao Island, browsing through a menu.

Eric: Anong gusto mong drinks?
Nilda: Basta ako, buko juice. (turns to waiter) Baka naman ten years yan bago ko makuha ang buko juice ha?
Waiter: (points at buko tree) Gusto nyo ngayon ko na ibigay? Aakyat lang naman ako eh.
Me: Wow! Patulero!

Illustrative Example 2:

Waiting for my order in Jollibee by the Cashier.

Crew: Sir, serve ko na lang ang meat FIE nyo.
Me: Ah, okay. FAKI-samahan na din ng FINEAFFLE juice.

(Patulera extraordinaire)

Let the patuleros and patuleras rule…

In A Bohol State of Mind

2004-11-30T10:35:00.000+08:00

I missed my blogspot! (gives blogspot one of my mind-blowing kisses). I just came from a 5-day stay in Panglao Island in Bohol. The experience was surreal. I want to share with everyone the beauty of Panglao Island, Bohol. At this point, I would like to thank my babe for helping me post these awesome pictures. (in a storyteller's accent) Come, fly with me to Bohol....

Don't you just love the sunset? Perfect. I decided to choreograph my best buddies, Nilda and Eric strolling towards the sunset. It humanizes the photograph. And boy, am I pleased with how this photo turned out.

This is at the Bee Farm. Loved the honey muffins! That's me, Joel, Eric, Nilda, and Chellow. Picture of the girls. Hahahaha!

Now this is my favorite picture of all! I loved kissing the tarsier. He was so adorable. Makes me wanna say over and over again, "never judge a book by its cover" and "big things come in small packages". So sad they are now endangered. :-(

Me, the beach, and the sunset. All I needed that moment. Thank God for creating the world.

My new-found friend, Diana! She's a great dane and I just love her so much. She's so big that she's taller than I am when seated side-by-side.

Definitely, in a Bohol state of mind. I promise to go back.

Mano Po 4 - My Sister and her Chinese Father

2004-11-29T15:32:00.000+08:00

Pending. I want this to have pictures. (glares at Dylan)

TRAINS, LOVE LOST & FOUND, AND ANAL SEX - A Review of Three Films

2004-11-23T12:41:00.000+08:00

The Station Agent (United States)

The movie is about Finbar McBride, a little person who is very passionate about trains. When his train-store owner boss died, Fin inherits an abandoned depot in New Jersey where he decides to take residence, with the intention of being left alone. He meets the loud, motor-mouth hotdog vendor, Joe, who is immediately drawn to Fin and befriends the unwilling new kid on the block. After almost being run over twice by Olivia, a grieving divorcee, Fin becomes (again) the unwilling confidante. Aside from the two, he meets an African-American girl Claire and the young and very sexual town librarian, Emily. As the story moves forward, Fin’s initial motive of isolation is broken as he discovers the importance of friendships and connections.

Thomas Carter, writer and director, should be commended for a very beautifully written script and how he translated this beauty into film. The choice of shots conveys isolation and connection, cynicism and hopefulness, bitterness and sweetness, difference and similarity, and sorrow and joy. Sequences start of with a negative note but ends with a positive one. Trains and railroads become an integral character in the story for it symbolizes connection and the certainty of destination. Somehow, the characters are drowning in isolation—whether intended or forced into—and are finding a hard time traveling the tracks of life. Fin likes to be and knows he is alone because he is “different.” Olivia is falling down a depression spiral due to the death of her son and her divorce. Joe isolates himself from the stress of taking care of his father by taking his hotdog van to the depot and striking up conversations because he wants to maintain a sense of sanity by being with Fin and Olivia. But like railroads, the intersection of their lives creates a new found sense of hope and direction towards their inner strengths as individuals. The actors delivered very good performances that created the most memorable scenes in the movie: the bedroom scene with Fin and Olivia, Joe’s apology scene, the scene where Fin tries to protect Emily, and the breakdown scene of Fin in the bar which was heart-wrenching. Although, the character of Joe could have been more three-dimensional to give it more punch. One thing that should be recognized in this film is the treatment of the main character being a little person. Carter shoots scenes where Fin is seated with other characters in the movie giving him the illusion of being of the same height with the characters, the end result of which is what the movie wants to say—that people are all the same, that we need other people to stay connected not only with the world at large, but primarily with ourselves.

Before Sunset (United States)

The film explores the question, “what would you do if you are given the chance to make it with the one who got away?” Richard Linklater takes us in a sweet reunion of two people who shared one spectacular night nine years ago. For me, the movie will achieve the most impact for people who have watched and enjoyed the movie nine years ago. Since it is a reunion, audience who were able to watch “Before Sunset” get to join them and be happy for them. Jesse and Celine have grown as individuals but they still retain the very core and nature of their personalities that we enjoyed in “Before Sunrise.” The performance of the two actors were organically impeccable. Ethan Hawke was still playful, flirty, and very American while Celine is strong-willed, competitive, and very French. I love the moments where we as an audience want to shout “kiss each other, for crying out loud!”, with the attempts to lean forward, the brushing of the arms, Jesse fixing Celine’s hair, the hesitant attempts to touch each other. Reminiscent of the record booth scene in “Before Sunrise.” The movie still managed to generate the interest from the audience to witness the intellectual tennis Jesse and Celine play and trying to dodge topics that would deal with the two of them. However, “Before Sunset” lacked the long stays in places that makes it part of their memory. But I feel that there is no need for this anymore since the movie is heavily anchored to the memories of that night and as Jesse said, “Memories are not finished as long as we are alive.” Therefore, the movie is a continuation of that memory. On this premise, the movie will not be able to stand alone for viewers to fully understand and appreciate the dynamics of Jesse and Celine’s relationship. Particularly, the scene about Jesse and Celine arguing about whether they had sex or not on that night in Vienna will be useless for first-time viewers. (Question from someone like me who watched “Before Sunrise”: Did they have sex? Now, I’m not sure. See what I mean? A first-time viewer would not get involved like this.) Overall, the film was successful in living up to the witty atmosphere of the first movie and lifting it to a higher level to exhibit the growth of the characters but still staying true to that one night of passion, intelligence, and love and the characters experiencing the pain of what could have been for the both of them.

For A Lost Soldier (Netherlands)

The movie opens with Jeroen, a choreographer who is putting up a number about love and passion. He then receives word that a person close to his heart died and he has to attend the funeral. On his return, he goes down memory lane and reminisce his life as a 12-year old in war-torn Amsterdam and how he is shipped to the Netherlands and placed in a foster home. When Amsterdam gets liberated by Canada, Jeroen meets one of the “Liberators.” Carl, a Canadian soldier in his late 20’s, takes interest in Jeroen, and later falls in love with him and the two enters a summer relationship.

The film treads dangerous ground by exploring the love between a grown man and a 12 year old boy smitten with experiencing his first love. Writer and director Ronald Kerbosch treated this with utmost care for it not to be exploitative but still allowing the characters to freely express themselves. The character of Jeroen did not speak English, which made their relationship esoteric and confined within their own rules and parameters. The love between Jeroen and Carl was sweet and innocent to a certain extent. Then comes the medium shot of Carl having (implied) anal sex with Jeroen. I think the director was intending it to be sweet with Carl whispering sweet nothings and taking care of Jeroen, sort of “guiding” him to the entire process. I wish there was more of a visual back story to Carl’s character for his falling in love with a younger boy be more grounded with a strong motive for the intimate scenes to be completely devoid of perversity. Moreover, the structure of the story relied heavily on the flashback which made the supposed coming-of-age theme lack foundation because there is nothing to anchor it to with the inadequate opening and premise.

The Tao of Ped Xing

2004-11-22T10:23:00.000+08:00

Nice title right? Reminds me of Cuba Gooding Jr.’s “The Kwan” in Jerry Maguire. But the experience of Ped Xing is not as pleasant. Traversing the path of ignorance is incomparable to taking the Ped Xing path for the latter gives you a sense of safety and security while the former…well…just makes you feel insubstantial. Beating around the bush? Yes. I am ashamed to admit that only at 30 years old have I discovered that “Ped Xing” actually means, PEDESTRIAN CROSSING. (cue slow motion shot as I take the walk of “Ped Xing” shame like a loser in Fear Factor) Dammit! To think that I thought I already know a lot. (shakes head in disappointment) It was really embarrassing because my dear friend, blogmate, and fellow film aficionado, Dylan, politely (?) corrected me by giving an etymologically illustrative example of why the common pedestrian crossing is referred to as “Ped Xing.” (Dylan’s exact text message: (PED)estrian Cross(X)ing) He’s so precise and considerate. Don’t you just love him? Hehehehe! (winks at Dylan) But I appreciated the mere fact that I learned something new (yet seemingly so basic that’s why I feel so bad?). I mean, if you look at the title, it does not seem so out of place if one thinks that “Ped Xing” is somehow a colleague of Sun Tzu or Mao Tse Tung and that in honor of their courage, a street was named after them. Hahahaha! All I can say is: NOW I KNOW. So every time I take the Ped Xing, it is a reminder that just like our need to get to the other side of the street safely……(long pause as Jerome thinks of a profound and witty meaning of taking the pedestrian crossing) (shakes head) Nope…it’s really a reminder of my ignorance. (like a child who throws a tantrum) I am never crossing the Ped Xing again for as long as I live! (dashes up to his room, slams door, and jumps on the bed)

(cue shot of Jerome wailing in shame)

The Hickey Theory

2004-11-16T15:34:00.000+08:00

hickey n. pl. - -eys. 1. Any device or contrivance; a gadget 2. A pimple or visible birthmark. 3. Slang. A reddish mark on the skin caused by kissing. 4. A pipe-bending apparatus. 5. A usually threaded electrical fitting to connect a fixture to an outlet box. [Origin Unknown] – The Grolier International Dictionary

Worry not, my loyal fans. I promise the range of the usual sexy, witty, vulgar, crass, and intellectual treatment of this subject.

What is it about a hickey that drives people crazy whether s/he is a provider or recipient of one (or many). I mean all types of “crazy”: crazy-afraid (as in “no, don’t leave me marks coz my GF/BF/Husband/Wife/Parents may see it), crazy-rapture (as in “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yeeees!”), or crazy-semi-unwilling (as in, “not on the neck, my mom/dad might see it”). At one point in time in our engaging in sexual congress with people, the hickey seems to be an integral part of our expression of sexuality (or “copulation”, or “fornication”, or “mind-blowing fucking”, whatever term of reference suits your fancy). I feel like it is anthropological in nature—an expression of territorialism, conquest, power, and/or prestige. My best friend actually loves to sport his hickey because it is like a roving announcement that broadcasts to the entire world that he just got laid (a prestige hickey) and that his girlfriend has definitely delivered, as Shirley Bassey sultrily puts it, “the greatest performance of my life” (inadvertent territorial hickey). Another friend said that he loves to give one because it is like a stamp of his conquest, sort of a “been-here-did-you” carving (a conquest hickey). My gal pal who has the sex life of a jackrabbit said that she loves to give hickeys (especially when her partner pleads for her not to) because, as she puts it, why should girls be the only ones to fear about being discovered due to a hickey (a power hickey). For me, however, it is about all of the above. I just love the fact that I have power over a person, that I have the stamp “LAID” and I have "stamped" another person, and the lover of attention that I am, I love the fact that people would stare at my hickey and I will say to them like a true-blue biatch, “Yes, my dear. I fucked someone last night.” And I love how they squirm in discomfort due to my vulgar honesty.

Hickey or no hickey, the point is we should have fun and enjoy answering the call of the flesh. I know I have. (smiles very naughtily) For me, it is a symbol of the end of a 16-month drought. And as I told my friend Dylan earlier, I asked for rain and I was given a fucking tropical storm. And just like the people of the desert-like town Cupang in the movie, Himala, I chanted in frenzy at the taste of water from above.

Damn! The analogy just made me want to give someone a hickey. (a hickey compulsion?)

ISP Anniversary - Random Thoughts

2004-11-15T14:12:00.000+08:00

Nov 15, 2004 2nd Year ISP anniversary. hehe, coincides with another important date (ask jen :D
Kapehan sa Rosario to Inuman sa Pacita, how times change. 2 years ago on this day, lumapit sina J sa ISP. tangina, yung araw na yun, hehe. It was a day of joy/conflict/discovery/renewal, an experience that i believe was well worth it. I learned a lot of things, about myself and others, and i learned the true meaning of respect :p (ang drama no?)
anyway, tangina, ang ISP madaming masaya ang nangyari dyan. from continuing the tradition of elbow-rubbing, drinking and vomitting, voices practicing, ISP also brought along the arrival of new *members* as well as traditions. The G.I Jane-esque "surrender" bell/bamboo windchime, although the trials that we were giving up on were much more enjoyable than doing push-ups in the surf.
Random thoughts:
Why am do i like ISP better than KSR? well, nothing personal here, pero
a) closer to pacita complex, walking distance, can be walked when short on cash
b) closer to RRD and Hyper Instinx
yun lang

I know each one of us has our own memories of ISP (ie, 400 being a standout for a select few) but here are a few of my own.

(quotes and phrases appear not exactly as they were said, they appear as how as i remember them. considering most of them happened while i was drunk, dont count on them being very accurate)

- On our way to RRD, drunk already as we were, we were waiting at a nearby corner (kanto) for a tricycle. e may dumaan, na parang may sinabi sya, and what he said didnt sit well with Ely at all. Rule no. 1: wag agrabyaduhin si ely kapag lasing. putangina! You can tell by the way his eyes squint, the lower lip is pulled up, the jaw is set, the right hand is balled up tightly into a fist. "putangina nya, intayin lang natin sya bumalik" jerome being the peacemaker, ushered us to carry on, like the Fellowship, excpet our goals were loftier, haha! anyway, bumalik na yung tricycle, and ely's reaction was quick and instinctive. reaching down and grabbing a large chunk of concrete, sidles up against a corner wall as so the trike driver couldnt say him, he says "sst, tol, tumabi na kayo dyan, tangina, pag dumaan yan dto..." well, to make a long story short, he didnt. at uminom kami sa RRD. yehey!! yahoo!!! google!! msn!! (wag nyong gayahin yan! joke namin ni jen yan!)

- One word: Chronic!! Two words: Toilet paper. add it together and you will know. hahahahaha!! putangina, palyado naman eh!

- The many hours spent chopping onions, tomatoes, ginger, peeling baguio beans, etc :P

- eating dinner at their house one night, when suddenly an overflow of water from the back floods the kitchen/main eating area! after finishing our meal with our feet wading in the water, we switch to emergency mode and quickly sweep/mop/wipe the water out, while the rain keeps on outside. once the rain does let up, we sit in the living room pondering what to do for the rest of the night, when kuya ol gets a text from tatay:

"oliver, baha sa may paseo, ok lang kahit d muna kayo umuwi" (or something similar to that)

hehehe! you know what that means!!!

"Manong, isang long neck, isang lapad, isang pop, kalahting winston, kalahating phillip. tska dalawang chicharon narin..."

- Pagkatpos ng defense namin sa sysdes, pmunta ako sa ISP. i can remember na kaming tatlo ni Ely at Jerome, drinking san mig light in his room listening to Ely's mixtape. it may not seem much, but naalala ko mdyo matagal narin hindi nagkasama ang Brothers J, at yun yung unang time na nagkainuman ulit kami. It was a very touchgloves moment.

This all may seem trivial moments, i know there are probably more better examples that i could have used, but as im writing this i cant seem to pull them up. I'll add later on if i do remember. And it may seem that all of the moments spent at ISP are anchored with drinking. thats not true. theres also Music, (kikinjungkinjuking....stomp.clapclap...) writing (DataLine editing) and sex (hehe, dont look at me! nasa nueve ecija ako nun!) Which of course, gave birth to one of the most overused phrases of our time: (in deep angelo voice) "Pare....." And of course, the profound moments of QT (quality time)

Most people like to go out on the weekends, go to clubs and shit. I remember telling one of my friends that in the Philippines i hardly ever went to clubs. he was pretty shocked, for him saturday was not saturday without going to a club.
pero para sakin, id take having a beer/emperador with ely, jerome, dennis, jen, (vodka ice pala, d sya umiinom ng beer :P) angelo, mel, joy, owen, oliver et al than to go any club on any day. (sounds lame i know)

Tangina pare, miss ko na kayong lahat. sana makapag inuman tayo ulit, miss ko na talaga kayo. Ngayon naramdaman mo ang pagkawala mo sa AMA (touch gloves! mis-quote!) Sana makabalik ako dyan sa ISP, at iinom tayo ulit. Tagay mo na! O! Dinadaan sa para-paraan eh! walang social drinking dito!!!

-OJ

A Born-Again Virgin

2004-11-11T15:41:00.000+08:00

Uh-huh. I’m doing something stupidly brave today. I want to know the feeling of exposing myself out there by making an announcement. I shall risk humiliation but I am doing this for all men and women in my situation. (cue grand musical score used in scenes where someone delivers a cheesy, inspirational monologue) To all the people who have been unfortunate to experience the epicurean pleasures of life. Not be alive by devouring the worldly passions life can offer. So, to all my brothers and sisters who are in agony brought about by the hunger for fleshly gratification, I raise my fist by saying “no more!” to being a born-again virgin and just lay it out there: I am Jerome Daclison and I haven’t had sex in 16 months. (cue record scratch and gasps of horror)

Being a born again virgin is not the same as being a born again Christian that’s one thing for sure. But there’s something so spiritual about being a born again virgin. It forces you to go back to your spirit and say to yourself, “What the hell is wrong with myself and I can’t even get laid???” Hahahahaha! Yes! That was the ultimate failed spin! Oh dear! I hope I’d get laid soon because I am really going out of my head—both of them! So, to whoever is interested, drop me a line and I’ll take the bait. As long as you are honest and willing to subject yourself to a series of background questions and you are funny, witty, smart, and naughty, I am your willing subject—an offering to the altar of the gods. (I can even don an ethereal white toga just like how cults do it when they offer virgins. Do the gods accept born-again virgins? Now that’s a question to ponder on. Hahaha!)

Here’s to looking forward to returning to a state of devirginization...

Never the Lover, Always A Friend

2004-11-11T06:50:00.000+08:00

I have been voraciously dating people these past few months in the search for something real. People from Friendster, Filipino Friend Finder, Myspace, Friday’s, Italliani’s, Starbucks, and from both sleazy and upscale bars in Makati and Malate, you name it, I was there like a wild animal hunting for its prey. (that sounded so Ted Bundy) But it’s nice. I have met a total of 14 people already. The sad thing is that only intermediate objectives were met. Meaning, I ended up being friends to 90% of the people I’ve gone out with, even with the 20% of those whom I pursued and gave me the “let’s just be friends” rejection spiel. In a Charlotte York kind of way, I’ve always believed that there is always a bright side to everything. And true enough, I always find it. Even though I still don’t get to sing Barbara Streisand and Bryan Adams’s “I Finally Found Someone” or The Company’s “Now That I Have You”, I still get to fulfill my mission of touching people’s lives. In one way or another, I enjoy being a self-proclaimed angel to these new-found friends. Although, since I am human after all, in a Miranda Hobbes kind of way, it sucks to being the dating scene’s equivalent of the adage reference “always-the-groom’s man-never-the-groom.”

Even if I’m never the lover and end up always a friend, it is okay. For now, I’m taking a much-deserved rest from searching. I had an epiphany. I just realized that I have so much worth and like the most precious pearls in the ocean, I AM THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE FOUND. My future partner should deserve me coz I have a solid knowledge of my capability to love. If people don’t like that, then they just lost the chance of having something real.

An Officer and A Gentleman

2004-11-08T14:37:00.000+08:00

Nope. This is not a review of the much celebrated Richard Gere film. The title is as is, where is. I had an encounter with a very rude policeman who tested my patience and being a gentleman and stirred up my dormant capacity for violence. This motherfucker used his badge as a shield to be rude and abusive in an attempt to intimidate me—a man who emulates gaiety and peace. Little did he know that I am an Aquarian. Thanks to my best friend, I have rendered hundreds of hours in training on squatterism and jologsology. I was asked to return the next day to get the police report which we need for our filing of insurance. SPO2 Ronaldo Balleber messed with me by saying that he will not give me the report since our party settled the matter the day before. I was calm when I explained to him that we need it since the vehicle in question is company property. The officer then raised his voice and called the gentleman opportunistic and unfair. That did it for me. I blew my top off and stood up and spewed pyroclastic clouds of “fuck yous” and “putanginas.” We had to be subdued by the station head. I fixed my hair in an attempt to regain my fabulousness (masculine tone drastically declines), the officer mocked me by acting out a faggot-like-tucking-of-the-hair-behind-the-ear thingy. I faced him, our faces just an inch away and I said, “Putangina, may problema ba?” He answered, “Ikaw, anong gusto mong mangyari?” I felt the blood rush to my head and said, “Bigyan mo ako ng dahilan.” And like a concerned dog owner, the station officer hosed us down.
After getting the police report, I stormed out of the police station and proceeded to go back to the office. As I savored the memory of my masculinity, cockiness, and animal instinct, I suddenly felt that other part of my maleness awaken. Damn! I made myself hot and horny with myself……

The Death of Hate - (Or Hate in a Cryogenic State, At Least)

2004-11-04T20:36:00.000+08:00

November 1, 2004 -- Another milestone in my life travels. This time, it is not about the beauty of the virgin beaches of Saranggani or the Sodom and Gomorrah of Manila called Malate. It is a journey towards inner peace and recognizing love as the alpha and omega.

The trouble with hatred is that it is like a virus that keeps on multiplying. As I said, what we sow is what we reap. When I was faced with the fact that the hatred rippled out, I said to myself: enough. Just like love, hate is a product of choice. Therefore, I chose not to hate. Instead, I made the braver choice to love and had to take back some of the things that I said. Before, I said that forgiveness is earned. But since I chose to love, forgiveness should be offered as a gift. Choosing to love is undeniably a nobility in itself. Therefore, we should give the gift of forgiveness with no conditions--just the fact that we choose to love. So, I did...and boy, it felt great...

Here's to the death of hate...well, at least hate placed in a cryogenic state. (Hehe! Let's be realistic...)

Malate Virgin No More

2004-11-01T17:57:00.000+08:00

I went to Malate last October 30 in most ways a virgin. It was my first time to attend a Halloween party. My first time to see so many gay people converged in one place. It was exploding with fabulousness! My first time to really savor Malate at its finest. Adjective sounded good that’s why I used it but I really didn’t totally mean it.

Okay. With the God-given imagination that I have, I went there with an expectation that it would somehow have the atmosphere of Mardi Gras in New Orleans. People letting go of inhibitions and just celebrate life, love, and freedom. But most of the people (not all ha?) were so conscious about their images. There’s nothing wrong with that but they try too hard to present themselves in a way they want to be seen instead of just expressing their freedom and individuality. Sorry for the arrogance but I felt it was so pretentiously bourgeois. Case in point: It rained…wait, let me rephrase that, it was just a drizzle. People rushed to find shade. I, on the other hand, wanted to sit outside and continue drinking beer and tequila coz a little rain won’t hurt me. Okay, I admit we could catch a cold or contract pneumonia and eventually face death when untreated but hey! This is just one night of fun and organized joy so why spoil it with the thought of being ill, being bed-ridden, and potential death? Sigh! The shot momentum was equivalent to coitus interruptus and while I was the one of the few (most of them are foreigners) who braved the rain, most of the people are under a shade protecting their hair styles, make-up, and their fabulousness in general. Goodness! An hour-and-a-half later, the drizzle stopped and the Cuervo street party sponsored by “Out!” started. There were men clad in masks with a theme of Ancient warriors dancing on ledges. Now this is a nice gender-bender switch to see men being exploited while they crazily (but not gracefully) gyrate in front of a hedonistic crowd. There was this one guy though who was waving a DLSU flag while cheering for the dancer and I said to myself, “Dude! This is a street party and not the UAAP.” I was laughing in amusement while this guy in leotard tights proudly waved the flag of our alma mater as if he’s watching the DLSU Green Archers handle the ball. Oh, wait! There’s no difference! There you go! Hahahaha! Animo La Salle! You go and wave that flag, girl! Then the hosts of “Out!” went on and the adrenalin drastically declined. They killed…and I meant that in a bad way. Gods in the heavens, they were soooo lousy! There was already this epicurean, Sodom-and-Gomorrah-esque atmosphere and they just failed to sustain that let alone capitalize on it. Professional eye-roller that I am, I smirked in disappointment and went to look for Jose Cuervo and Miguel to seek refuge and solace.

Okay, my being devirginized by Malate was not as bad as my first sexual experience. I had a good time. Maybe next time it will be better. For now, I’m thankful that I’m a Malate virgin no more. Next step is to experience going to BED…and maybe I get to snag someone and go to bed. (naughtily winks) At least, carpe diem right?

Love's Many Faces

2004-10-30T16:56:00.000+08:00

I want to share with you these three love songs that describe different facets of love. These are some of my favorites which are included in Barbara Streisand’s album, “A Love Like Ours”, the one she made when she finally found someone that made her dance in the streets of Manhattan. If you want a private performance from moi, call me. (Naks!)

IF YOU EVER LEAVE ME

When I fall you’re my place to land
I lose my touch you’re my hand
The one I hold on to.
If you run out of reasons to try
I’ll love enough for both you and I
I’d be the one you can run to.

*I’d rather go to any pain life puts us through
Than to spend one day without you by my side.

**If you ever leave me, won’t you take me with you
If you’re ever lonely, I wanna be lonely too.
My hope’s inside you, no matter where you may go.
My love’s inside you even more than you know.

In a world of anger and lies, I find peace in your eyes
A flame in the darkness
Ooh and through all space and time
Till every star refuses to shine, you know where my heart is.

Repeat * and **

And I can’t remember life without you
the way it used to be
Feels like a million years away
My hope is till the angels singTell me every little thing
Promise me forever from this day.

Repeat **

ISN’T IT A PITY?

It’s a funny thing, I look at you
I get a thrill I never knew
Isn’t it a pity we never met before.

Here we are at last, it’s like a dream
The two us a perfect team.
Isn’t it a pity we never met before.

Imagine all the years we wasted
Me with the neighbors, you at silly labors
What joys untasted, my nights were sour
Spent with schopenhauer.

Let’s forget the past let’s both agree
That I’m for you and you’re for me.
Isn’t it a pity?

Imagine all the lonely years we’ve wasted
Fishing for salmon losing at backgammon
What joys are untasted
Me at the Prado, you in Colorado.

Happiest of boys, I’m sure to be
If only you would say to me
Isn’t it a pity we’ve never met before.

What an awful pity, we never, ever met before…

A LOVE LIKE OURS

I look at you and there it is
The ultimate in where it is
And realize how rare it is
Just finding your love.

You try so many arms when you are lonely
To find the one and only
One day you turn and he’s there.

Amazing how serene it is
The shade of evergreen it is
Exactly what we need it is
I know it would be

*When love like ours arrive
We guard it with our lives
Whatever goes astray
One rainy day comes around
A love like ours will keep us safe and sound.

Hmm… (Repeat *)

A Shrine of Wishful Thinking

2004-10-30T16:40:00.000+08:00

I took a battery of psychological exams last Thursday at Ortigas. After a grueling 3 hours, I traversed the road most traveled and went on to my journey to Cubao. As I reached the other side where the EDSA shrine was where I was to wait for a ride, I saw this father and son tandem looking down on something at the foot of the shrine. A keen observer of mankind as I am (translation: Chismoso extraordinaire), I went over to see what they were gawking at. Like a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, a huge slate said:

ON THIS GROUND
Millions of indignant vigilant
And black-clad Filipinos started
A vigil for moral renewal in public governance
On January 17, 2001
Singing together, praying together
Chanting protest slogans together and
Charting together a new course
For the history of peaceful political change
On this holy ground,
At high noon on the 20th of January 2001,
The eve of the feast of Sto. Nino
GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO
Was sworn in as the
14th President of the Republic of the Philippines
Under the shadow of Mary, Our Lady of EDSA
In the presence of millions of peace-loving Filipinos
HENCEFORTH,
All generations to come
Shall call this historical event as the
2nd EDSA PEOPLE POWER REVOLUTION
TO THE
UNNAMED FILIPINOS
Whose love of God and Country
Made the historical event come about
THIS
HALLOWED SPOT
IS GRATEFULLY DEDICATED

Then the son asked his Father after reading, “Ano ibig sabihin nyan, pa?” The father answered, “Wag mo na intindihin yan. Nandun ako with my officemates. Wala rin namang kwenta.” He then gives his son a strong tug and pulls him away and walks towards Robinson’s.

Shocked. Not by the father’s apathy and lack of appreciation of whatever the message on the slate wished to invoke. But by the fact that I too, may be guilty of such apathy. Two people revolutions have passed and it was the first time I stepped foot on the shrine, let alone read the slate that so proudly heralds the triumphant Filipino spirit—for the second time. Don’t get me wrong. I rode the bandwagon of peace- and truth-loving Filipinos with the fashion statements like the black ribbons on the wrists and engaged in arguments about the “nays had it” with my colleagues and a group of bisexual men on EB at Starbucks Festival mall and the whole hype over the telenovela more popularly known as The Impeachment Trial. I even got as far as Magallanes on that day where, as the slate says, “Millions of indignant, vigilant and black-clad Filipinos started a vigil for moral renewal in public governance,” myself clad in black…and ready to chant and all that revolution jazz. But now I feel like I wanted to go there before because I wanted to be part of history and not being able to be there brought me that feeling of regret just like my inability to be part of the Lovapalooza. It got me thinking if the urge to participate was PURELY about the noble duty of “peace-loving Filipinos” to demand for a “moral renewal in public governance” or if it was about being fashionable and cool. Question already moot? I don’t think so. How many people today gripe like the apathetic father over the then-noble-but-now-nonsensical-and-useless event called the 2nd PEOPLE POWER REVOLUTION? Cruel and arrogant as it is to surmise that the “peace-loving Filipinos” who fervently wish for “moral renewal in public governance” have been so self-involved nowadays, efforts seem to end with organizing record-breaking crowds and fail to transcend the overwhelming brouhaha over the historic convergence of passion for change in order to translate it into proactive efforts to sustain the need to make changes. Coming from a person who was not even there, I feel like I need to apologize for the pessimism and undermining the efforts of the “millions of Filipinos” to whom the “hallowed spot is gratefully dedicated to.” But coming from the father who was there and telling his son how it is “walang kwenta”, and being witness to fellow Filipinos who pass by the “hallowed spot” as if it is just another pattern on the pavement, I ask you: Can you blame me?

I’m deliberately ending this for it to be a personal opinion stemming from an observation to prevent it from being preachy and for it to provoke more opinions.

Our Capacity to Love and Hate

2004-10-30T16:04:00.000+08:00

MY CAPACITY TO GIVE LOVE – EXPLORING MY ANGELIC SIDE

I was referred to as an angel three times for the past two days by three people whose lives I touched. Human Being 1 said that my warmth and kindness washed away his pain. Human Being 2 said I gave her the courage to conquer her fears and insecurities by finally deciding to refuse to being treated like a doormat by her husband. Human Being 3 said that I inspired him to be a better person by going back to what makes him burn with passion: writing. This is my essence of being and Being—a warm, kind-hearted person whose mission is to touch people’s lives. Thank you, my Lord, for giving me more opportunities to give love…

MY CAPACITY FOR HATRED – EXPLORING MY DARK SIDE

When one has an overflowing capacity to love, one also has to recognize that s/he has a huge capacity to hate. And I could say that this is true for me. I firmly believe that I am a good person by universal standards. But my being an Aquarian ensures me of a place in hell. Yes, the dark side of Aquarians is the need to exact revenge over people who have wronged us. Basically due to the fact that we seldom find fault and for us to be disadvantaged, especially when we have done nothing wrong, that person is definitely a spawn of Satan. The anti-Christ.

Nevertheless, I am a forgiving person. As much as I have this capacity to hate, I have a greater capacity to love. But forgiveness is earned and not bestowed for the former connotes an acceptance of the concept of accountability. Without this, forgiveness will never be deserved.

My own version of the karmic theory: Good things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. The worst things happen to people who do bad things to good people.

From Start to Penis

2004-10-30T16:02:00.000+08:00

Men are sooooo misunderstood. Maybe its because of the sins of our forefathers have plagued the men of generations next to them. We are being accused of being sexist, chauvinistic swine who have nothing in their minds but to undermine the exceptional power of women and concocting ways to achieve sexual gratification. The world is so unfair in making such sweeping generalizations that men are so clueless. Special mention given to women’s groups who feel like they are still suffering from discrimination by existing in what the character, Vera Donovan from the movie Dolores Claiborne said, “We live in a depressingly masculine world.” Partly, I do not blame them because undeniably there are still occurrences of such but my sistahs, ease up with the overwhelming references to ALL men. And to my brothas who are solely driven by their penis, down boys! Special mention to the following:

THE PRODUCERS OF “THE MEN’S ROOM”

God, I’m so disappointed with the makers of this show. When I first heard of that show, I said “Finally! A show that would serve as an avenue for people to appreciate the inner workings of the minds of men.” All throughout the pilot episode, I was drafting a complaint letter to Studio 23 for the crass jokes especially how RJ Ledesma acts like a salivating wild dog in Ivan Pavlov’s lab when presented with women clad in a skimpy swimsuit. Damn those people! They have the power to change minds and they screw it up. You bad puppies! Tsk!

“PENIS TALKS”

“Penis Talks” was made with the ultimate aim of creating an answer to the much celebrated “The Vagina Monologues”. A friend who watched it told me that it didn’t live up to his expectation since it did not really capture the intention of putting men in a brighter light. He even said that the penises in the play talked about anal penetration. What the hell was that???

“COCKY CONVERSATIONS” – A Chance for Redemption

This is an idea that I have conceptualized two years ago that’s why I was initially frustrated when I heard about “Penis Talks” because I thought it took away the novelty of my idea. Good thing it sucked (sexual pun intended). So, you have to wait for this event which is going to happen soon: it is called COCKY CONVERSATIONS. It is going to be the largest focus group discussion participated in by men of all walks of life, converging with the ultimate objective of speaking their minds out about sex, frustrations about boyfriendhood and fatherhood, and the claustrophobic pressure placed on the shoulders of men. This is going to be historical and I want all of you to spread the word. As part of the initial phase, I am talking to small groups of men, compiling data on the way to the event. So, if you know of men who want to join “Cocky Conversations”, feel free to refer them to me. The event’s will be participated in by men from the business sector, entertainment industry, schools, and the community. It’s gonna rain men, from start to penis!!!

I am Miguel Hernandez

2004-10-26T14:55:00.000+08:00

October 18, 2004, Monday, 7:30 a.m., RCBC Tower, Carlos P. Romulo Theater-a date, a time, and a place that shall remain etched in my memory for the rest of my natural and next life.

I saw Recoged esta voz, the multilingual poetry anthology of Miguel Hernandez’s selected poems. I bought the book and had it signed by all those who performed (Initially, people gave me disdained looks which say “How middle-class of him!” but apparently, when I was having discussions with the readers including Jesucristo Riquelma, Juan Jose Galvan, and Joey Ayala and being included in their group picture, the “upper class” people started to have their books signed. Hah! Ayan, mga mapagkunwari kasi ang mga ugok. At least, I got to hobnob with the Spanish envoy and the performers, with matching picture pa. O, mga gago!) It was my first time to watch-wait, let me rephrase that. It was my first time to experience a poetry reading. And I was given more than what I expected: it was translated in English, Tagalog, Chabacano, Ilocano, Cebuano, Kapampangan, and Ilonggo. It does not stop there. Joey Ayala performed some of the poems as written by Hernandez where he laid a soulful arrangement capturing Hernandez’s unfathomable love for his wife, his child, and his country with absolute emotional astuteness. I cried three times during the show. Maybe because I was in an emotional turmoil that day…..

I came in the theater bothered by disappointment. As the performers read Hernandez’s poems of hope, fury, love, joy, sorrow, pessimism, and optimism, I felt like he was speaking to me-and it washed away all my pain. Miguel is my new friend, my hero, and my angel. The show took me to Miguel’s humble beginnings of internal assimilation, his existential journey towards transcending self-centered motives, his undying love for his external environment, and his return to what is truly important to and for him: his love for his wife, his love for his child, and his omnipotent love for love. His emotional battles with reconciling his being a soltero and his need to express love and eroticism moved me to an introspective state. And as Joey Ayala performed the last poem, I was pleased with myself. I have traveled the path Miguel has taken. I have come full circle with my own battles and triumphs and I return to what is important: myself and love.

He arrived with three wounds:
Love,
Death,
Life

With three wounds he comes:
Life,
Love,
Death.

With three wounds, I am:
Life,
Death,
Love.

I came in the theater, burdened with disappointment. I came out of the theater with a strong and empowered spirit, and with a new sense of my worth and capacity to love.

I am Jerome Daclison. I am Miguel Hernandez.

“We will once again give a toast for all that is lost and will be found: chains, joy, and the hidden affection that leads us to search for ourselves in all the earth.” -- Miguel Hernandez

Verbena

2004-10-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

Paella with perfectly cooked rice, and the combined flavor of mussels, squid, shrimp, clams, chicken chunks, green peas, and the aroma of garlic, onions, red bell peppers, and chorizo.
Crispy churros dipped in Spanish chocolate
Flamenco dancers-I meant, music. (Was disappointed with the dancers).
Exhibition of some of the best amateur artwork
Sexy Latin music
Wild dancing
Sweet, tangy Sangria
Night ending with fireworks accompanied by a moving musical score

That is Verbena. Need I say more? It was a perfect night.

Sociopathy [also] Comes in Small Packages

2004-10-23T23:42:00.000+08:00

Children are like cherubs from heaven’s gates (cue angry buzzer). Not! On my way to the christening of Mabek’s son (she’s one of my best college friends), I encountered three children who were obviously spawns of the guardians of hell.

BLACK SCREEN
SUPERS: First Incident - Oct. 17, Sunday, 6:16 a.m.FADE IN

INT. TRITRAN BUS. DAY
Child number 1, who we shall refer to as Damien (from the OMEN series), was boisterously singing a medley of Otso-otso, Pamela Wan, Bulaklak, and Spaghetti Pababa all throughout my agonizing journey from Pacita to Magallanes-and Damien knows the concept of a LOOP. Damn! All I wished at the moment was for Harry Potter to wave his magic wand and make Damien vanish.

FADE TO BLACK
SUPERS: Second Incident - 7:28 a.m.FADE IN

INT. MRT CABOOSE. DAY
Damien 2 was a smart kid for his age. He was proudly reading out loud all signages and billboards that he could possibly see while rocking back and forth bumping on my left shoulder. I’m happy for his parents for producing a gifted child. However, I was mentally drafting a 4-page complaint letter to the makers of PROMIL all the way to Cubao station.

FADE TO BLACK
SUPERS: Third Incident - 9:24 a.m.FADE IN

INT. CUBAO-SAN MATEO FX. DAY
Damien 3 appeared to be a kid who wins “Best in Good Manners and Right Conduct” consistently in day care. I smiled at the mom and even gave her praise for her cute and adorable son wearing a red cap, a denim jumper/overall, and a yellow-and-red striped shirt. As I paid my fare, the driver asked me, “Saan bababa?”. I answered “Sa bayan po ng San Mateo. Pakibaba na lang po ako sa may JOLLIBEE.” To my horror, the angelic child seemed to have been possessed by a demon and screamed out loud and tugged at his mom’s hair, shouting, “MAMA, PUNTA TAYO NG JOLLIBEE. JOLLIBEE, JOLLIBEE, JOLLIBEE (chants more “JOLLIBEES” than I could ever stomach).” Damien 3’s mom said, “NO!” Damien 3 threw a fit by screaming, hitting his mom, and trying to tear his clothes apart. Poor mom decided to shove a huge chunk of chocolate cake from Goldilocks which they had with them (Maybe as a birthday gift--so middle-class. But that’s another blog.). As I watched Damien 3 devouring the chocolate cake of the masses, I had a vision: he’s the Chuckie doll from the movie “CHILD’S PLAY”. Kaya pala ganun ang suot nya.

FADE TO BLACK
SUPERS: San Mateo Church - 10:31 a.m.FADE IN

When I got to Jollibee-San Mateo, I thanked the Lord for terminating my anguish brought about by a serving of three hell boys. As I walked towards the church, I asked myself, “Why do I seem to have lost patience over children?” Before I could come up with a profound, witty, and positive analysis, I stepped in the church-it was filled with running kids and screaming babies……

(Cue haunting score from “Psycho”, ZOOM IN to over-the-top terrified reaction, let’s out a blood-curdling scream)

Deconstructing Desperation

2004-10-17T08:08:00.000+08:00

The thing about being under the influence of alcohol is that we become uninhibited. In some situations, this can be a good or bad thing. But for some reason, last night’s date with alcohol was different. My friend and I have reached 80% of our maximum threshold and we were talking about relationships—him being in one and me with a lack thereof. Drunken conversation sort of bordered on intoxicated jokes and banter but when the word “desperate” came out to describe my voracious dating, it threw me off and even under the influence, I still managed (for a moment) to evaluate the validity of the usage of the Adjective….. after (semi-)consciously responding with an on-cue half-laugh of course. As I took my 20-minute long walk home, the alcohol starts to kick in but it gave me plenty of time to ponder on the question: “Am I desperate?” It brought back memories of some of my dates who gave me the “let’s be friends” line and later were candid enough to let the Adjective politely slip out. Somewhere in the middle of puking my guts out, being chased by that same psycho-dog Benjie, and almost being run over by a dilapidated tricycle, I saw a window of clarity that pushed me to organize my thoughts about the question at hand. (Yes, it is a talent which I constantly place under SPECIAL SKILLS in my resume: Ability to be scientific even under the influence of cognition-altering substances)

DESPERATE adj, 1. Reckless or violent because of despair 2. Undertaken as a last resort 3. Nearly hopeless; critical; grave; a desperate illness 3. Marked by, arising from, or showing despair; the desperate look of hunger 4. In an unbearable situation because of need or anxiety; desperate for recognition 5. Extreme because of fear, danger, or suffering; in desperate need.

Etymologically (such a big word for someone who’s “tipsy”—tipsy daw oh!), the usage of the word to describe me was not precise. I have never been reckless or violent of despair, never felt hopeless, never viewed my non-existent lovelife as critical or grave to the point of it being an unbearable situation. Why does wanting something badly enough be viewed as an act of desperation? I call it being motivated and aggressive with a dash of stubbornness because when I want something, I make sure I give a thousand percent to achieve it before I raise the white flag. That way, I don’t go down that “what-might-have-been” road sulking and singing “Saan Ako Nagkamali”. However, by standards of a handful of judgmental and high-riding bastards and bitches, my voracious dating gives the impression of being desperate because I come across as, and I quote them ex-dates/now-"friends", “needy, clinging, obsessive, disarming, and stalker-like.” Well, I say that it’s about looking at an investment if it has potentials or none at all. Imagine yourself putting in your money in a boutique to open at Rockwell plant which will sell authentic clothes circa 1984—padded shirts and jackets in primary and secondary colors and acid-washed baston jeans. (cue gasps of disgust from audience) My point exactly. But if I will be required to put up a large sum of money that would give me a return of investment in a reasonable period of time plus profits, the next thing I look for is my potential investment partner. Is s/he willing to invest too? What can s/he offer and bring to the table? (cue camera 2, pan shot on obligatory, sincere, and insincere nodding of audience) My point exactly.

Never desperate, just motivated…..

Okay it’s now time to sing. And a-one, and a-two, and a-three: “You say poteyto, I say po-ta-to. You say tomeyto, I say to-ma-to. Poteyto, po-ta-to, tomeyto, to-ma-to. Let’s call the whole thing off…..”

Blame It On Charles Darwin

2004-10-15T16:59:00.000+08:00

I read this article posted on Friendster about Globe’s promotion of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show. The writer basically said that it was gay-bashing and gender insensitive. Then there’s this article about a group of Christians enraged on the impending relocation of Moslems in their area. And if I’m going to mention issues concerning “isms” that aim to exclude, blogger.com will have to kick me out for overloading their system. People who give their views about equality and condoning these acts of “isms” should be commended—or should they be, myself included?

As an advocate of justice for all, I am really fascinated with people who propagated the idea of “excluding” people because of race, religion, and personal preferences. The Ku Klux Klan, Adolf Hitler, Al Qaeda, Jews, African-Americans and Christians have experienced first hand exclusivity, as implementers or as recipients of such. But these are tragic pieces of history where we can say that a milieu hungry for and in the process of change fuels the need for and resistance to change. But let us fast-forward to current times. People say that the human race has come a long way from its barbaric, medieval, pre-industrialization, conservative views and undertakings. Have we come a long way? The sins of our fathers have seeped through an insatiable generation who constantly pushes the envelope as far as it could. History plus current times equals chaos. People shout justice and equality but we are all guilty of exclusivity and segregationist acts. I feel that it is our need for categorization and labels—an offshoot of the “convenience” modern technology offers to us. Categorization facilitates ease. But in the end, there are too many categories that are one and the same. Example: in filing, accounting files are categorized in sub-files labeled vouchers, invoices, receipts, etc. It is easier, yes. When translated in the context of sociological concepts, it is somehow aligned because it is “easier” but to the detriment of equality. Come to think of it, the influx of “movements” advocating equality are promoting exclusivity. Women having a special caboose at the LRT station (with a sign “PARA SA MGA BABAENG PASAHERO LAMANG” which reminded me of the “COLORED” signs in African-American history), gays and lesbians having their “own” sub-culture, homosexuality having a sub-classification of its own (i.e. COMMONLY SEEN TAGLINES IN GAY DATING WEBSITES/GROUPS: gay and bi men welcome but no effems. Hunky, straight-looking gay and bi males, no effems and chubs allowed), religions factions demanding for their own rights but refuse to recognize other denominations’ rights, rich-poor division, African-Americans feeling discriminated because of the absence of a black person in a corporation, Halle Berry being accused of a racist when she thanked all the black actresses who were nominated in the Oscars but never won because they were “black”. These are a result of categorizations. I wish we could just have one “file” that says PEOPLE and just remove sub-files like MEN, WOMEN, GAY, STRAIGHT, MOSLEMS, CHRISTIANS. The question is: can it be done? I guess equality will remain elusive for it is an absolute concept. The mere fact that the core of our existence as human beings is that we are unique from each other—man as his own microcosm—equality is no longer elusive but unobtainable with this premise. My suggestion is we need to learn to live in a state of co-existence and co-habitation in the midst of an undeniable and infallible diversity. To find that middle ground where we can all stand as people who are different from each other but recognize the fact that we are human beings who breathe the same air and live in the same world—too much to ask but a more realistic and doable challenge.

In the meantime, just for kicks, let’s blame Charles Darwin for this brouhaha over injustice and discrimination for coming up with theory of classification and natural selection. Modern day (pseudo-) intellectuals picked up where he left off and all hell broke lose.

SPANISH BREAD - A Serving of 5 Spanish Films

2004-10-15T07:35:00.000+08:00

EL JUEGO DELA SILLA (Musical Chairs)

The film is about Victor who returns to his hometown for a day to visit his family as a break from his work in America. He is treated with a homecoming celebration from his family with food, traditional trips down memory lane, and quirky family rituals. Ana Katz, the director, successfully moved the audience to tears and laughter with her presentation of this funny and dysfunctional family. The film delivers some of the finest, subdued performances from the actors, especially the matriarch who I can only lovingly refer to as a domestic diva. With Katz's clever use of exposition (particularly the use of the musical chairs), the characters grow into us and we fall in love with them, hate them, and fall in love with them all over again and we get to understand why Victor, at the end of the movie, comes to realize that the family that he fled from years ago is the same family that makes him want to return to.

LA PRIMERA NOCHE (The First Night)

The film is about Paulina and Tonio who escapes their war-torn village in one of the remote provinces of Colombia. They decide to go to Bogota to re-build their lives shattered by a civil war. The structure of the film is very interesting. The story was told in a fashion of a beginning-of-a-beginning-of-a-beginning—Luis Restrepo opened the film with the beginning of re-building their life, interspersed with the beginnings of Paulina and Tonio’s relationship, and although the film ended, it is marked with a more tragic beginning of shattered hopes. Restrepo’s focus on Paulina and Tonio’s first night in Bogota was a venue to explore the characters’ inner conflicts and motives which we understand more and compels us to empathize with them with the accurate use of intercuts of each of the character’s pasts, essential in defining the characters' need to start their life anew. The performances of the two leads deserve the highest recognition possible. They were able to show the contrast of inner strength and weak facades (and vice-versa) through impeccable reaction shots choreographed by Restrepo. With all the elements of good film-making in place, by the end of the film, as an audience, it makes us question (and pray) if there still exists that seemingly elusive flicker of light at the end of the tunnel for Tonio and Paulina.

SMOKING ROOM

I was able to watch the Spanish film “Smoking Room” primarily because I am a heavy smoker and the idea of gathering signatures requesting for a smoking room in the office in the fight for one’s right to smoke was very fascinating and wanted me to write petition letters to lawmakers. I came in with the interest of how the story will unfold. To my surprise, the movie was more than about the smoking room. It explored how corporations are devoid of compassion to their employees, oblivious of the fact that they are still human beings. The film was a reminder of David Mamet’s, “Glengary, GlenRoss”. It tackles the reality that employees are not just one of the many machine parts which comprises this larger machinery called the corporation. They are people who have personal problems and that no matter how companies slave-drive these people to perform their functions as employees, personal problems will always catch up and eventually affect their performance. Wallowits and Gual decided to give each character their own spotlight time with monologues to express their difficulties and miseries as people and how they cope with these problems, tightly shot with hand-held extreme close ups. They succeeded in exhibiting the workplace as a microcosm and that the need for a smoking room was a representation of the working class’s attempt to maintain the reality that they are human beings and not merely cogs that need to turn to push the corporate machinery forward in achieving its goals. However, the danger of ensemble films is the potential crashing of audience interest since there are many characters that they have to follow and if the writing does not provide a common ground that links the characters even they are embarking on totally different journeys, the pace of the film is doomed. In the case of this film, the smoking room seemed to have been underutilized as the main plot point, making the film fragmented and the audience is left watching five different characters with five different stories and struggles.

LA CAJA 507 (Box 507)

The film is about Modesto, an ordinary bank manager, who’s life was changed in the opening of the movie by the accidental death of his daughter in a forest fire and years later was given another twist when his bank was robbed and he wakes up locked in the vault. While trapped in the vault, he discovers a document contained in Box 507 that brought questions about his daughter’s death seven years ago.

Enrique Urbizu exhibits tight direction of a film that chose to follow a very risky structure that could pull the audience’s interest in two separate ways which will bear catastrophic effects when ineffectively executed. The lives of the characters cross paths at the beginning of the film, went their own ways to achieve their own goals connected to the circumstances surrounding the death of the girl, and once again meet in the end which makes the ending explode with sweet revenge. Urbizu’s balance of implied and explicit violence was masterfully executed making scenes more visceral and provide the audience an opportunity to wince in pain. The actors should be commended for delivering very controlled yet powerful performances in the film. Antonio Resines makes the audience want to organize themselves and give him a helping hand with his endearing, dick-swinging approach as he moves to higher places in unearthing the truth about his daughter’s death and demanding justice. Overall, the film is something that you will either love or hate because of its non-traditional story-telling approach.

EN LA CIUDAD SIN LIMITES (THE CITY OF NO LIMITS)

The film created the mystery it needed to generate ala “The Usual Suspects” where we are waiting for the answer to the question: “Who is Kaiser Sose?” In “En La Ciudad..”, however, it is the mystery of “Rancel” that the main character is drawn to unravel. Set against the backdrop of a family facing the death of their ailing father, the premise (not to mention the handsome lead) was able to elicit interest from the audience to tag along for his search for the truth about his ailing father’s rantings of conspiracy and “Rancel”. However, Antonio Hernandez’s choice of style in directing the movie distracts us from the story line. He overdid camera work with trying to be stylish with his unnecessary zoom ins and MTV-like shots instead of helping specific scenes convey a sense of eeriness, melancholy, frustration, and/or tension. As for the story, I felt that the story picked up in the last third of the movie which delivers a semi-sweet ending. Another problem of the film lies in the looseness of the script and underdeveloped characters subsequently creating a ripple effect reaching the performances of the actors--with the exception of Ana Hernandez who need not deliver the lines to gallavant the strength and cold-heartedness of the matriarch character.

Three Films, Three Reviews

2004-10-09T09:00:00.000+08:00

WATERBOYS (Japanese)

The film is about a group of 5 boys from Tadano High School who initially joined the swimming team—along with other boys—because of their beautiful new coach. When the coach pitched the idea of putting together a synchronized swimming team, only the 5 boys were left with the interest to join the team. The eager coach entered them in the festival but took a leave of absence when she found out that she was eight months pregnant. This left the 5 boys, led by Suzuki, in panic and confusion. Thus began their struggle to come up with a routine.

The novelty of the premise of the film was enough to draw appeal and expectations of heightened levels of fun. However, as the film moved along, it dragged and relied heavily on comedy resulting from funny-slapstick scenes instead of funny-sweet moments. The problem originated from poor characterization and absence of a central theme which resulted to unclear and weak motives of the characters and mediocre performance from the actors. The 5 boys went through the movie with the aim of performing in the festival and chose to solicit from stores and drag queens for financing and seek the help of a dolphin instructor for synchronized swimming moves to attain this goal. But the most important thing that was unclear in the film was “why” do the characters want to perform in the festival. This lack of strong motives from the characters affected the pace of the story and ultimately failed to generate empathy from and sustain the interest of the audience. Shinobu Yaguchi, writer-director, could have played on gender issues anchored to the struggles of adolescence considering that synchronized swimming is a sport participated in by women and the milieu is an all-boys school. The opening sequence would have effectively set the stage for this should plot development went in that direction.

Overall, if the intention of the director is just to entertain and elicit laughter, it succeeded with Yaguchi’s anime-inspired intercut tight shots in slow motion of the boys’ initial trials to execute certain moves, the presence of the gay character who we initially thought as infatuated with Suzuki but later we find out that his feelings were for Sato (who’s the best character in the movie), them being featured on the news, the scientific approach of the nerdy character in perfecting the execution of formations, and of course the highlight of the movie—the performance in the festival (special mention to the extreme long shot of the big circle-to-five small circles transition). But if Yaguchi intended for the film to be inspirational and make the audience route for the characters, the film is a failure in this aspect since it undermined the potential impact of the ending, making the film simply “just about the boys’ performance in the festival” and not about how the characters achieved personal change because of it.

HUSH (Japanese)

The film is about Katsuhiro, a closet homosexual who incidentally crosses paths with Naoya, an openly gay man, both of whom develop a relationship and ended up living together. When Asako, a woman with a history of promiscuity and abortions, enters their lives and proposes for Katsuhiro to give her a child, Katsuhiro and Naoya’s relationship is tested to the core.

Ryosuke Hashiguchi did an excellent job in mounting this well-written story with good characterization and plot development which produced fine performances from the actors. The film was about needs and wants. Hashiguchi fleshed this out with gritty dialogue and gradual exposition. The dynamics of how the main and secondary characters explore each of their own set of true and perceived needs and wants pushes the story forward, revealing internal conflicts along the way, hindering each other from achieving what they want, but ultimately helping them discover for themselves what they really need. With regard to scene presentation, Hashiguchi should be commended on the treatment of Katsuhiro and Naoya’s relationship. It gave the audience a front seat to what happens behind closed doors in a same-sex relationship—that it is not all about sex; that just like any other relationship, there are arguments, the potentials of sleeping outside the kulambo, swooning over your loved one, wooing them to forgive you, and the profound silences. The film delivers the most memorable scenes where credit is given to the efficient use of the element of exposition: the cuddling scene of Katsuhiro and Naoya after their argument was very endearing, the scene where Naoya introduced Asako to his gay friend and Asako was the only woman in the gay bar, the goodbye scene of Asako where she delivered a controlled, heart-wrenching monologue, the long, purposeful sequence of Katsuhiro seeking spiritual guidance, and the stationary full shot of the confrontation scene. The movie sometimes goes melodramatic with some “soap opera” scenes but it becomes an integral part of the story that we as an audience let it slide, especially the ending where I felt was too much like the film, “Junior” to me and we are not sure if Katsuhiro has attained peace of mind by the end of the movie. But given the organic growth of the story, we laugh with the characters in the end for we know that they are going to be all right. Even when the movie ended, the characters and their struggles and semi-triumphs still resonate in our minds and compel us to look into ourselves, our own set of needs and wants, and what we have done to achieve it.

FENG SHUI (Philippines)

I understand why the film was appealing with the presence of universal elements like the middle class housewife trying to build a family in a newly-bought house in a partially developed subdivision. The premise of the movie was scary enough since it talks about a very familiar Chinese artifact, the bagua, which a number of homes now have and it plays on the Filipinos fascination and belief in superstition. The movie opened with what seems to be a shot from inside the bagua looking out into the world which was very effective in establishing an eeriness that the movie aimed to generate. Cut to the bus scene, where the man leaves a bagua, which the main character takes home with her. This reinforced the opening by creating mystery. Then it all went downhill from there. The film failed in building a manic crescendo because the script lacked the escalation it needed There was poor characterization and the film relied heavily on “spelling things out” instead of characters revealing a part of themselves and the story through their actions and reactions to circumstances. The mystery and eeriness which Chito Rono created in the opening sequence disintegrated because of the characters’ overwhelming knowledge of Chinese literature where the audience is always given a lecture (I always felt that anytime in the movie a powerpoint slide will pop up to give the audience bulleted information). Also, the fact that everything is spelled out instead of gradually revealed, the audience resulted to waiting for the bulaga moments. The weakness of the script was the under-utilization of the main character to be the focal point of the story where the audience can empathize and be with her for the ride. The writer seemed to have forgotten about the unraveling of the mystery of the bagua which could have encouraged the audience to take interest in the main character’s dilemma. Instead, it focused on creating scenes that would “wittily” correlate the order of death to the year you are born in relation to the Chinese calendar. Hence, the original owner of the bagua died from being run over by a Phil. Rabbit bus because he is born on the Year of the Rabbit. How did I know that? The main character, and even the Ilonah Jean character, is very proficient and knowledgeable enough to throw us information just like pulling a rabbit (pun intended) out of the hat. If Rono’s intention was to disturb the audience with the Chinese calendar references, then he miserably failed because the audience were either laughing or are shouting in disgust because they are insulted, particularly on the Lotlot character’s death scene. But Rono should be given recognition for the technical aspects of the film, specifically the usage of extremely tight close ups and the bird’s eye view shot. Although, there are some scenes which could have been shot five seconds longer to put the audience on the edge of their seat.

I think one of the failures of the movie was Rono’s intention to break away from the conventional dark horror movie, hence the use of bright colors in the house and shooting in extremely bright light. The attempt to be different by juxtaposing color and evil was brave but it failed because it is impossible to execute due to the weak script and extremely bad performances from the actors (except for Joonee Gamboa and Nonie Buencamino who make memorable short appearances in the film). Ultimately, the movie failed because it was reduced to being an ordinary haunted house film and got sidetracked from the original, more fear-inducing, and interest-grabbing premise of solving of the mystery of the bagua. As for whether the ending was good or not, it depends on who watched the film. For me, it did not make me shriek in horror since it has been done before and it did not matter anymore since the logical flow of the script has been so distorted at this point, rendering the ending more of “for shock value only” and less of relevance. (Oh…and as a final note, the product placement of the Chunkee Corned Beef was done in bad taste)

Baygon can be an unhappy single person's best friend....

2004-10-06T10:02:00.000+08:00

I rummaged through my “Dear God” journal and I found this particular entry which made me feel proud of myself with the new job, hopes of a brighter and more stable career, a more active social life, and being back on the saddle again.

---ooOoo---

April 11, 2004
1:55 a.m.

Dear God,

Hi! For a long time, I haven’t had anyone to talk to about what I’m feeling these past few days. I mean REALLY talk about it. I’m afraid I’m depressed. No judgments! You’re the only one I can talk to without fear of being judged. Yup! I’m officially sinking into a Bridget Jones state. I would like to be honest now. It’s very hard to be 30, single, living with my mom, and a guy who has an almost-36” waistline. There. I said it. My idea of going out and having fun is having friends over with our usual love affair with alcohol (more of one-night stands) due to financial constraints and the fact that I can’t bear the guilt for spending money on gimmicks. My most intimate moments are with the TV. Cable has become my friend and foe. She makes me cry, feel better, and reflect. Wow! I must be really hitting rock bottom if I keep on with my relationship with her (I’ll kill myself if I reach the point that I would fuck my TV. Oh wait…I think I already have the been-there-done-that T-shirt after watching “Nagi-init” on Cinema One. *tearfully looks at the unopened Baygon bottle on the shelf*) Wait…what’s that I hear? Oh, it’s the loser alarm. Tsk! I can’t go out coz I’m burdened with guilt of leaving mother alone. It’s almost a given in my fuckin’ equation that I have to stay home since I don’t have a social life. Well, at least I have an e-social life. Friendster, MySpace, and FilipinoFriendFinder are there for potential friends and dates. But I can’t even snag a date. Seeing Jane date in the Hallmark movie “See Jane Date” made me want to strangle Jane. I hate Jane. She’s going out on dates. I can’t seem to ask someone out because I’m fat. Oh, dear! I’m losing my confidence and self-esteem. My job’s great but I feel I’m running into a dead end. My boss is a true scorpion in every sense of the word. I know she’s not gonna do anything to help my career. I hate this paranoia and low self-esteem. I’m a shrink for crying out loud! But I know you’re giving me signs. What to do???

“MAKE-MYSELF-FEEL-GOOD” SECTION

Okay. Done playing the self-deprecating old person role. Time to re-focus. (It feels weird motivating myself.) I’ve put myself down pretty hard. In honor of Jesus’ resurrection, I acknowledge the fact that I have to regain my self-confidence. All the problems I’ve mentioned are a result of the Thirty-ish Angst. You’ve always taught me that with your grace, coupled with my ability to turn my life around, I’m gonna conquer these problems. You know I want to constantly better myself—so let’s get down with the “get down”:

PROBLEM 1: Low confidence brought about by 36-inch waistline

GOAL/ S:DIET! I did it before, I can do it again. WORK OUT!

PROBLEM 2: Social life (lack thereof)

GOAL/S: Talk to mom and Gilda about time out for myself. Look at budget.

PROBLEM 3: Career dead end

GOAL/S: Communicate with the boss. Scout for other positions. Explore [again] plans to put up own NGO. Ask for study and fellowship grants.

PROBLEM 4: No love life

GOAL/S: Beef up socializing. Don’t end up being alone! It’s either get married or swing the other way and be gay. (hehehe)

Well, well. I have my work cut out for me. But I want to reclaim myself. I lost it somewhere along the way and with your help, lead me to my own resurrection. I love you, my Lord.

Love,

J

---ooOoo---

FUNNY how things worked out for me. The journey continues……

Movie in My Mind

2004-10-06T05:36:00.000+08:00

I love movies—the usage of “love” is an understatement, mind you. I mean if movies were people, I would’ve fucked them. (There you go! My first blog and it’s Larry Flynt-slash-ChiChi La Rue by the end of the second sentence with the profanity.) Movies, like books, just provide me with the proverbial “escape” which is a good thing. It’s voyeuristic to a certain extent because you get to peep in the lives of characters “created” by writers—note the quotes because I’m sure these writers surely lurk in the bushes with their laptops, eavesdropping like vultures on people’s conversations and typing every word these poor people say…VERBATIM. (Oh, wait. That’s me…*guiltily bites finger*) Attending the Eiga Sai 2004 opened my doors to Asian films. Last Saturday, I was a film fest virgin. On Sunday, I was officially a film fest slut who wants more…

Last Sunday, however, I had to leave TWILIGHT SAMURAI due to the inconsiderate “requests” of my boss. After accomplishing her Hitler-esque demands, I decided to buy coffee at Figaro and sit outside by the umbrellas and smoke while waiting for the next movie, HUSH. Very Paris—sitting at a café, cigarette at hand, savoring life, and watching a different kind of “movie”. Kids playing luksong tinik and having a great time. Teenagers struggling to be badminton players using 60-peso rackets and a plastic shuttlecock. Four men playing park volleyball who seem to have forgotten that they were in a park and not the beach when one of the guys executed a killer spike and hit the wannabee, pseudo-Paris Hilton girl seated with her equally clueless friends at the table next to mine. It was like a Jess Abrera “Pinoy Nga” cartoon in motion. What caught my attention though was a man and a woman cuddling under a tree on a makeshift picnic blanket made from rice sacks sewn together. I decided to switch to writer mode, lit another cigarette, and like Carrie Bradshaw—sans laptop, sans sexy curls, sans female reproductive system—I let the silent movie play before me. From where I’m sitting, they seem to be celebrating 8 years of their marriage. Why not think, “Damn, they’re celebrating 8 years of cheating on their spouses”? I’m a Charlotte York—(takes on a bitchy-sistah-from-Brooklyn stance) so sue me. From how they nuzzle each other’s noses and how their eyes light up with each exchange of what seem to be sweet nothings, this silent movie is definitely one of romantic proportions. (cue instrumental score: From Funny Girl, “People”. This is gonna tip the Gay-dar waaaaaaayyyy far. Hahaha!) The way the man’s forefinger traces the contours of his wife’s nose. How the woman playfully tries to bite her husband’s forefinger like a willing prey who wants to take the bait. The way they seem to not let each other finish each other’s sentences by giving the other a kiss and end the endearing repartee of verbal and unspoken affection with a tight hug. All I can do is marvel at the majesty of love in action—and for some reason, I was happy for two people whom I don’t even know. Although, I have to say that there is this undeniable pang of jealousy and envy of what they have. Eventhough I didn't notice that I almost got burned by my now almost extinguished nicotine source, I know that this silent movie will play in my mind for as long as it could, bringing me hope that someday, I too would have my own silent movie that would make people hope for a happy ending of their own. (cue sound effect: record scratch) Oh, crap! All I know is that, my movie is still in the making. And in the context of the silent movie that I just watched, I definitely need to cast my love interest REAL QUICK…production cost is blowing waaaaayyy out of proportion. What can I say? This is what I get for wanting a fuckin’ romantic movie. I should’ve taken the advice of my friend and just settled for a hot, sweaty porn flick—low production cost and maximum satisfaction. (Just borrow a digicam, meet up with someone, fuck each other’s brains out while holding the camera, boom! Movie.)

Now, given the emotional and financial economics of making your own romantic movie, it made me think: Should we still aim for something like “An Affair to Remember” or just settle with its counterpart, Ron Jeremy’s or Sean Cody’s Production (depending on which way you swing) of “A Fuck To Remember”?